I Bought This Memoryby Winston C. Mars ![]() January 12, 2004 I bought this memory at Walgreens,
it was discounted heavily. With it implanted I settled back to enjoy my reverie. But to my dismay I soon realized why this memory had been spurned. It was of eating a stale club sandwich whose mayonnaise had turned! I took it right back for a refund, but the Chinese clerk he protested. He asked for proof, by way of receipt for the memory I'd injested. I searched my pockets to no avail. I checked again, but again failed! Nowhere was it to be found. I scanned the scene, and checked in-between my sneaker and the ground. But it was gone. Goodbye, so long! Sayonara, it turned to vapors. Somehow somewhere, vanished into the air. "I'll see you in the funny papers." I tried my best to prove in jest that I was the one who had bought it. "Aha!" I voiced, "The rye bread was slightly moist, like someone had coughed on it." "And the pickles, they stank like something quite rank and the ham—the ham was like rubber. The turkey was raw and the cheese was so blah, like crusty, stretched-thin whale blubber." But the clerk didn't buy it, wouldn't even try it. He just smiled and shook his head "No." Without the receipt I could have shit to eat and he wouldn't mind it at all if I'd go. As I stormed out into the rain the image haunted my brain: That clerk's grin hung in breathless fixation. It was clear I'd been played— the memory cleverly overlaid over my memory of the receipt's location! Damn you, Walgreens. You can keep your lousy four dollars. Quote of the Day“I'd like to give the world a Coke, but they'd have to share it. Actually, all anyone can do is smell it, since most of the Coke will likely have evaporated by the time it gets all the way around the world. So here you go, world: Smell my Coke.”-Dennis Freebasen Fortune 500 CookieYou're a real asshole when you're tired. Or rested. This is the week you're finally going to get pantsed for your sins. Try brushing your teeth with the other end of the brush this week: that fuzzy part's not the handle. This week's lucky things the dog wouldn't even eat: your hat on a bet, Tofutti Cuties, dog barf, Sam's Club Brand Dog Food, your homemade rhubarb pie.Try again later. Top Rejected Muppets
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