You need a newer browser.

04/13/26   
More fun than an alcoholic stepdad


Rusty Klein

A Chicago restaurant paid $106,000 for the controversial playoffs ball that could have cost the Cubs a shot at the series. They claim they want to destroy the ball and put the misery to an end for all the teams' fans, but all we can say is someone else has made a big fat profit off of a ball that's already caused a lot of heartbreak for Cub fans. — Professor Jeremy Klein










Quote of the Day
“1.327493 is the loneliest number. Technically.”

-Inglebert Thomas, Professor of Mathematics
Fortune 500 Cookie
You will quit smoking, but only in hospital nurseries. One step at a time, baby. You will finally lose that unwanted 50 pounds, thanks to a fortuitous kidnapping. The bank won't be your only withdrawal this week, drugnuts. You will believe everything you read.


Try again later.
Most-Favored Rok Finger Insults
1.Your tie is particularly thin
2.Your wife likes having sex
3.Your smell? I didn't want to tell you, but it's not especially pleasing
4.What kind of name is "Gore"?
5.We could be mistaken for twins
Archives
Shop Till You Drop
Enjoying the shopping, the merchandise, the endless exchange of cash and the rampant exhaustive over-commercialization… but try not to forget the sugar plums. — A.D.... (12/8/03)

Sympathy for Devils
With the bombing of the British embassy in Turkey, terrorists are now striking targets in neighboring Islamic countries. What better way to win over your most potentially sympathetic audience than set off bombs next door! — Professor Jeremy... (11/24/03)

more