the commune

Rusty Klein

A Chicago restaurant paid $106,000 for the controversial playoffs ball that could have cost the Cubs a shot at the series. They claim they want to destroy the ball and put the misery to an end for all the teams' fans, but all we can say is someone else has made a big fat profit off of a ball that's already caused a lot of heartbreak for Cub fans. â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Quote of the Day

“I am the very model of a modern major general. Perhaps this explains my inability to move my limbs and the pungent smell of airplane glue.”

-Gilgamesh Sullivan

Fortune 500 Cookie

You're set loose and Fancy free, since your cat Fancy ran away. The girl checking you out at Safeway is indeed the lead singer of Deee-Lite. If one thing gets your goat, it's goat theftâ€”consider a goat lock. Lucky Wilburys are Boo, Spike, and Lefty.

Try again later.

How Did Rat Poison Get in Food for Dogs & Cats?

1.	Particularly sly British mouse known only as Nigel
2.	Adult illiteracy: Secret shame of the pet food industry
3.	Turned back for one minute; Islamic fundamentalists cats & dogs go shithouse on production line
4.	Mislabeled bags were manufactured for special Ted Nugent brand of pet food
5.	One man determined to get the fucking dog to play dead already

Shop Till You Drop
Enjoying the shopping, the merchandise, the endless exchange of cash and the rampant exhaustive over-commercializationâ€¦ but try not to forget the sugar plums. â€” A.D.... (12/8/03)

Sympathy for Devils
With the bombing of the British embassy in Turkey, terrorists are now striking targets in neighboring Islamic countries. What better way to win over your most potentially sympathetic audience than set off bombs next door! â€” Professor Jeremy... (11/24/03)