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01/21/26   
Like lamb on acid


Rusty Klein

A Chicago restaurant paid $106,000 for the controversial playoffs ball that could have cost the Cubs a shot at the series. They claim they want to destroy the ball and put the misery to an end for all the teams' fans, but all we can say is someone else has made a big fat profit off of a ball that's already caused a lot of heartbreak for Cub fans. — Professor Jeremy Klein










Quote of the Day
“Discretion is the better of valor, and the first thirty minutes of Saving Private Ryan much better than any of the rest of it.”

-Crazy Eddie Shakespeare
Fortune 500 Cookie
It's time you leave your job, 'cause they're going to fire you tomorrow. If you're ever cornered by a bear, hang your lunch in the tree and pretend you have Tourette's. She sells seashells by the sea shore, which is an incredibly bad market to unload those things. Duck, duck—goose. Lucky numbers all negative.


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Archives
Shop Till You Drop
Enjoying the shopping, the merchandise, the endless exchange of cash and the rampant exhaustive over-commercialization… but try not to forget the sugar plums. — A.D.... (12/8/03)

Sympathy for Devils
With the bombing of the British embassy in Turkey, terrorists are now striking targets in neighboring Islamic countries. What better way to win over your most potentially sympathetic audience than set off bombs next door! — Professor Jeremy... (11/24/03)

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