the commune

Rusty Klein

A Chicago restaurant paid $106,000 for the controversial playoffs ball that could have cost the Cubs a shot at the series. They claim they want to destroy the ball and put the misery to an end for all the teams' fans, but all we can say is someone else has made a big fat profit off of a ball that's already caused a lot of heartbreak for Cub fans. â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Quote of the Day

“If you can't stand the heat, turn down the goddamned heater.”

-Cheri S. Truman

Fortune 500 Cookie

You will find great happiness in wok. Be on the lookout for signs, they may guide you to riches or prevent you from driving on the railroad tracks. A large dog will determine your fate. Remember: Just a dab heals dry skin, but larger quantities can lube an entire baby. Lucky numbers: 0, 0, 0, 6.

Try again later.

Top Justifications for Iraq War

1.	France don't tell us we can't do something
2.	Saddam said California was totally gay, for real
3.	Thought country offered frequent invader incentives
4.	Kuwait had "bad feeling" about some guys along the border
5.	CIA had strong evidence of uncounted Florida ballots in Tikrit

Shop Till You Drop
Enjoying the shopping, the merchandise, the endless exchange of cash and the rampant exhaustive over-commercializationâ€¦ but try not to forget the sugar plums. â€” A.D.... (12/8/03)

Sympathy for Devils
With the bombing of the British embassy in Turkey, terrorists are now striking targets in neighboring Islamic countries. What better way to win over your most potentially sympathetic audience than set off bombs next door! â€” Professor Jeremy... (11/24/03)