The Raccoon Killerby Violet Tiara ![]() November 24, 2003 On golden gilded lapis lazuli
the gnome was homely, old and plain. Byzantine tattoos on his brain made him think the world insane. "Lichens liken to Vicodin dreams… rolled oats, old goats, matriarchs." A Chicano girl named Rosa Parks mumbled something in the dark. "I am the Duke of lukewarm duke," he tried the title on for size. Mercury tears welled up in his eyes, round and hot like blueberry pies. "I am the size of the simpleton skies?" he ventured a stab at identity. A raccoon laughed down from a tree remembering something he saw on TV. "It is no use, I have no use, I'm decidedly uninteresting." Bees flew by, to sting something more interesting than he. The sun went down like a hooker on a clown and the night gave the gnome no relief. He sat in the dark with his lack of a spark as the raccoon teased "Where's the beef?" And the morning was the same as the frogs called his name and the dragonflies dragged things about. The crickets sang a song and the raccoon hummed along as the gnome thumbed all of his nose hairs in doubt. By the noontime it was bright as the land was drenched in light but in darkness the gnome sat darkly in despair The raccoon said while yawning the gnome held no hope of spawning "And by the way you are losing your hair." Something snapped and in the shock the gnome bent and picked a rock which with a mighty flinging fling he flung it. And when all was done and said the raccoon was stone dead before the gnome had really realized he'd done it. Seeing the raccoon lying stiff though did not cause a tear of whiff inside the gnome who rather felt quite cheery. For he'd found it, don't you see? Finally found a thing to be. "Raccoon Killer? Now that doesn't sound so dreary!" Quote of the Day“Na-na-na-na-ne-neh-neh-na-neh-neh-neh-neh-va-va-va-va-va-neh-na-neh-neh-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-neh-va-neh-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma—nevermind.”-Stutterin' Tom Tulane Fortune 500 CookieEight is enough: time to face the fact that you're wearing too many cock rings. Try watching where you vomit this week: it never hurts to make a nice first impression. It says here that once word gets out you ate all those locusts, you'll be beloved in Kansas, and unwelcome everywhere else. This week's lucky germs: floor-funk, spazzolycene3, urinalia-hangaroundicus, wheat, Pat Smear.Try again later. Least Popular |
| 1. | Fat kid re-enacting his favorite scenes from Citizen Kane |
| 2. | World of Warcraft online players expressing crippling loneliness they feel |
| 3. | Totally hot chick in skirt does routine car maintenance |
| 4. | Trailer for Julia Roberts' Mary Reilly 2 |
| 5. | Manson gets one side of Rubik's Cube all red |