the commune

Rusty Klein

With the bombing of the British embassy in Turkey, terrorists are now striking targets in neighboring Islamic countries. What better way to win over your most potentially sympathetic audience than set off bombs next door! â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Quote of the Day

“The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas! Except near Houston, Dallas or Fort Worth. Talk about your smog. Jesus, this song's gonna need another verse.”

-Clement B. Doogle

Fortune 500 Cookie

Mama said there'd be days like this, but the bitch lied. The success or failure of this coming week hinges on your proper understanding of the word "gonad," so take our advice and go buy a dictionary now, Skippy. Order lots of Chinese food this week, but don't pick it up. This week's lucky accidents: back-flip off ladder onto hardwood floor, lip caught on drain while bathtub's full, wearing flammable jumpsuit to Great White concert, 15 car pile-up.

Try again later.

Top Easter Memories

1.	Stuffing all those eggs up the bunny's ass. For the children.
2.	Knee-deep in Peeps.
3.	Kicked out of church for eating wooden Jesus. Thought it was chocolate.
4.	I'll be damned, family really can tell ham from Spam.
5.	Boil the eggs next year. Sweet Jesus, boil the motherloving eggs.

Oil to Iraq
The Army recently announced it was renegotiating Iraq contracts after Democrats raised questions about Halliburton bilking the government out of millions to import oil into Iraq. But of course, the Army says there's no truth to the rumors of... (11/10/03)

The Media Filter
President Bush has repeatedly the rebuilding of Iraq is going much smoother than the media would have us believe. Though the media is prone to sensationalism, is it really possible to "filter" in several attacks on civilian quarters, numerous dead... (10/27/03)