Chase the Weasel

by Chase Spergen

November 10, 2003

All around the Crunchberry bowl
the monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought it was
fuckin' funny
until "POP!" goes the weasel!
The fucking weasel exploded,
I'm not kidding.
It was fuckin' raunchy.

Up and down the hallway stairs
the monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey liked to give 'im a scare
then "POP!" went the weasel.

Goddammit monkey!
Quit chasing those weasels!
There's no way we're getting the security deposit back now.
Christ on a bike!

Back and forth in front of the T.V.
the monkey chased the weasel.
And just before the start of the O.C.
"POP!" goes the weasel!

I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING AROUND, MONKEY!
It's like Vietnam in here!
You think I'm going to be able to convince girls
that "Weasel Gore" was a wallpapering option?
You're on thin, thin fucking ice, monkey.

Through the day and all through the night
the monkey chased the weasel.
The weasel he did put up a good fight
but still, "POP!" went the weasel.

All around the goddamned house
Chase, he chased the monkey.
He'd teach that ape to mess up his padâ€¦
then "POP!" goes the weasel!

FUCK!

That's it, I give up! Do what you want monkey.

Hey, don't give me that sad face.
Okay, okay, you're still my buddy.
Come to think of it, we do seem to have
a pretty bad weasel infestation in this place.

Probably a good thing I've got a monkey, actually.

Quote of the Day

“We'll meet again. You might say that's impossible, since people can only meet once, but they haven't factored in my patented time machine and early-onset Alzheimer's.”

-Capt. Don Spacegain, Year 3054

Fortune 500 Cookie

Now's the perfect time to launch your alternative news website. Thursday's haul proves your friend's theory that the Halloween is really the only lucrative time for trick-or-treating. For your information, he's going to shoot his old woman down 'cause he caught her messing 'round with some other man; you don't need to know everything. Lucky son of a bitch.

Try again later.

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