Chase the Weasel

by Chase Spergen

November 10, 2003

All around the Crunchberry bowl
the monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought it was
fuckin' funny
until "POP!" goes the weasel!
The fucking weasel exploded,
I'm not kidding.
It was fuckin' raunchy.

Up and down the hallway stairs
the monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey liked to give 'im a scare
then "POP!" went the weasel.

Goddammit monkey!
Quit chasing those weasels!
There's no way we're getting the security deposit back now.
Christ on a bike!

Back and forth in front of the T.V.
the monkey chased the weasel.
And just before the start of the O.C.
"POP!" goes the weasel!

I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING AROUND, MONKEY!
It's like Vietnam in here!
You think I'm going to be able to convince girls
that "Weasel Gore" was a wallpapering option?
You're on thin, thin fucking ice, monkey.

Through the day and all through the night
the monkey chased the weasel.
The weasel he did put up a good fight
but still, "POP!" went the weasel.

All around the goddamned house
Chase, he chased the monkey.
He'd teach that ape to mess up his padâ€¦
then "POP!" goes the weasel!

FUCK!

That's it, I give up! Do what you want monkey.

Hey, don't give me that sad face.
Okay, okay, you're still my buddy.
Come to think of it, we do seem to have
a pretty bad weasel infestation in this place.

Probably a good thing I've got a monkey, actually.

Milestones

2002: commune staffer writes this Ã¬MilestonesÃ® blurb, causing time to fold in on itself and destroy the universe.

Now Hiring

Charles Bronson. Experienced Charles Bronson needed to pull off some Deathwish-style menacing to scare off Ivana Folger-Balzac once and for all. Five years Charles Bronson experience minimum. Please provide references, and filmography.

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