Chase the Weasel

by Chase Spergen

November 10, 2003

All around the Crunchberry bowl
the monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought it was
fuckin' funny
until "POP!" goes the weasel!
The fucking weasel exploded,
I'm not kidding.
It was fuckin' raunchy.

Up and down the hallway stairs
the monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey liked to give 'im a scare
then "POP!" went the weasel.

Goddammit monkey!
Quit chasing those weasels!
There's no way we're getting the security deposit back now.
Christ on a bike!

Back and forth in front of the T.V.
the monkey chased the weasel.
And just before the start of the O.C.
"POP!" goes the weasel!

I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING AROUND, MONKEY!
It's like Vietnam in here!
You think I'm going to be able to convince girls
that "Weasel Gore" was a wallpapering option?
You're on thin, thin fucking ice, monkey.

Through the day and all through the night
the monkey chased the weasel.
The weasel he did put up a good fight
but still, "POP!" went the weasel.

All around the goddamned house
Chase, he chased the monkey.
He'd teach that ape to mess up his padâ€¦
then "POP!" goes the weasel!

FUCK!

That's it, I give up! Do what you want monkey.

Hey, don't give me that sad face.
Okay, okay, you're still my buddy.
Come to think of it, we do seem to have
a pretty bad weasel infestation in this place.

Probably a good thing I've got a monkey, actually.

Quote of the Day

“The unexamined life is not worth livingâ€¦ so show me your tits already.”

-Sol Crates

Fortune 500 Cookie

Nobody loves you anywhere near as much as your mother, but the bad news is you were adopted and never met her. Your "Most Favored Nathan" status will be revoked this week when a more-favorable Nathan arrives in town. Sorry. Try to start flossing your teeth, crotch and armpits, ASAP. This week's lucky bullets: zingers, greenies, pissmakers, Big Bens, deconstipators, "lead flapjacks," armor-piercing, elephant piercing, Ella Fitzgerald-piercing.

Try again later.

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3.	Turned back for one minute; Islamic fundamentalists cats & dogs go shithouse on production line
4.	Mislabeled bags were manufactured for special Ted Nugent brand of pet food
5.	One man determined to get the fucking dog to play dead already

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