Chase the Weasel

by Chase Spergen

November 10, 2003

All around the Crunchberry bowl
the monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought it was
fuckin' funny
until "POP!" goes the weasel!
The fucking weasel exploded,
I'm not kidding.
It was fuckin' raunchy.

Up and down the hallway stairs
the monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey liked to give 'im a scare
then "POP!" went the weasel.

Goddammit monkey!
Quit chasing those weasels!
There's no way we're getting the security deposit back now.
Christ on a bike!

Back and forth in front of the T.V.
the monkey chased the weasel.
And just before the start of the O.C.
"POP!" goes the weasel!

I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING AROUND, MONKEY!
It's like Vietnam in here!
You think I'm going to be able to convince girls
that "Weasel Gore" was a wallpapering option?
You're on thin, thin fucking ice, monkey.

Through the day and all through the night
the monkey chased the weasel.
The weasel he did put up a good fight
but still, "POP!" went the weasel.

All around the goddamned house
Chase, he chased the monkey.
He'd teach that ape to mess up his padâ€¦
then "POP!" goes the weasel!

FUCK!

That's it, I give up! Do what you want monkey.

Hey, don't give me that sad face.
Okay, okay, you're still my buddy.
Come to think of it, we do seem to have
a pretty bad weasel infestation in this place.

Probably a good thing I've got a monkey, actually.

Quote of the Day

“Seek not greatness, but seek truth and you will find both. If, however, you find a bag that looks like oregano, it's mine. I mean, if the cops ask you, it's not mine, but I am totally holding it for a friend of mine.”

-Ron Horsemann

Fortune 500 Cookie

Another day, another dollarâ€”you should really quit the migrant worker biz for a job where you can make more than a buck a day. Fans of sweaty three-ways with lesbians rejoice, they'll have your video in stock this Thursday. I've been smelling beans all day. That can't be just me. Lucky Lucianos will be Angelo, Salvatore, Emilio, and Gary.

Try again later.

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2.	Fried Pork Cracklin's in Butter by Flanny Fragg
3.	The Happy and Compliant Slave by Newt Whiteny
4.	How Stella Left Her Groove Under the Seat on the Plane Ride Back by Terry McMillan
5.	Fight Club by Jerry Springer

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