the commune

Rusty Klein

President Bush has repeatedly the rebuilding of Iraq is going much smoother than the media would have us believe. Though the media is prone to sensationalism, is it really possible to "filter" in several attacks on civilian quarters, numerous dead soldiers, and strife between Iraqi and American forces? â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Milestones

1982: Fred Connor born, grows up to lead successful rebellion against war of the machines in 2011. Or at least he would have been, if a Terminator hadn't successfully eliminated him from history, according to Research Editor Griswald Dreck.

Now Hiring

Good Terminator. Talking to Griswald Dreck has made us see the wisdom of employing a preventative Terminator security system, preferably a skilled Terminator robot who has been reprogrammed to protect commune staff members. No pay or retirement plansâ€”yours is not to reason why, just to do and die.

Top Positive Changes Inspired by Va. Tech Massacre

1.	Public now rightfully suspicious of South Koreans
2.	Bush to up military spending to ensure troops aren't outgunned by Iraqi college students
3.	Handguns: two for the price of one, Big Dill's Gun Barn, Williamsburg, VA
4.	Congress to pass ban on recreational bazookas
5.	Grand Theft Auto: Va. Tech to carry "It's just a game" disclaimer

The Ghost of Gore
Promising candidate Gen. Wesley Clark this week said good-bye to departing campaign manager Donnie Fowler, whose grass-roots efforts helped bring Clark into the presidential race. Fowler cited tension between recent Gore campaign managers hired onto... (10/13/03)

Telemarketing... Free Speech?!?
Federal justices believe a "do not call" list infringes on free speech as described in the Constitution? These guys have probably never been subjected to "free speech" at home during the dinner hour. Between these recent rulings and the debacle with... (9/29/03)