the commune

A.D. Enemy

Promising candidate Gen. Wesley Clark this week said good-bye to departing campaign manager Donnie Fowler, whose grass-roots efforts helped bring Clark into the presidential race. Fowler cited tension between recent Gore campaign managers hired onto staff, and worried the new additions are robbing Clark of his "outsider" approach to the campaign. Will the ghost of Gore doom the Democrats' new contender? â€” A.D. Enemy

Milestones

1992: Lil Duncan's alternative band Fuck Off is signed to a major label, on the condition they replace Lil and change their name to The Cranberries.

Now Hiring

Genie. Duties include magically delivering gifts of high monetary and social value on demand. Must have own lamp or bottle, no backtalk. Evil "wish becomes curse"-type genies need not apply.

Least-Watched Holiday Specials

1.	A Bush Family Christmas
2.	I'm Dreaming of a White Krishna
3.	VH1 Behind the Music: That Guy Who Sang Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
4.	Christopher Walken in a Winter Wonderland
5.	Gerald Ford Reads "Twas the Night Beforeâ€¦" Oh Shit

Telemarketing... Free Speech?!?
Federal justices believe a "do not call" list infringes on free speech as described in the Constitution? These guys have probably never been subjected to "free speech" at home during the dinner hour. Between these recent rulings and the debacle with... (9/29/03)

How I Won the War on Terror
Contrary to popular opinion, the president assures us it can be wonâ€”and it doesn't even take peace negotiations, concessions, or changing the way we conduct business around the planet! It just requires one more check. â€” A.D.... (9/15/03)