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05/16/26   
Red Bagel schlepped here


A.D. Enemy

Promising candidate Gen. Wesley Clark this week said good-bye to departing campaign manager Donnie Fowler, whose grass-roots efforts helped bring Clark into the presidential race. Fowler cited tension between recent Gore campaign managers hired onto staff, and worried the new additions are robbing Clark of his "outsider" approach to the campaign. Will the ghost of Gore doom the Democrats' new contender? — A.D. Enemy










Quote of the Day
“My love is like a red, red wiiiine… go to my heaaaad… make me forgeeet… Wait. Sorry. My love is like a red, red rose… just like eeeeevery night has its daaaaaw- awawaaaan… Just like eeeevery cooowboy… Fuck.”

-A.D.Dobbs
Fortune 500 Cookie
Clowns don't hate you, they just feel sorry for you. Your "Don't Worry, Be Slappy" series of self-help books finally broke the five-copy sales barrier this week, and just got you sued by the estate of Slappy White. This week's lucky strikes: Clover-Workers' Union, ump didn't see ball careen off batter's jock and through strike zone, killed them all while they were dreaming about killing you, threw your ex-wife's severed head down lane on accident.


Try again later.
Top Signs You May Be Obese
1.File footage of your last beach trip keeps turning up on evening news "Obesity in America" segments
2.Telemarketers disgusted by sounds of your constant eating
3.Farm animals instinctively panic in your presence
4.Buffet mysteriously closed no matter when you arrive
5.You stopped for a snack in the middle of reading this list
Archives
Telemarketing... Free Speech?!?
Federal justices believe a "do not call" list infringes on free speech as described in the Constitution? These guys have probably never been subjected to "free speech" at home during the dinner hour. Between these recent rulings and the debacle with... (9/29/03)

How I Won the War on Terror
Contrary to popular opinion, the president assures us it can be won—and it doesn't even take peace negotiations, concessions, or changing the way we conduct business around the planet! It just requires one more check. — A.D.... (9/15/03)

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