the commune

Rusty Klein

Federal justices believe a "do not call" list infringes on free speech as described in the Constitution? These guys have probably never been subjected to "free speech" at home during the dinner hour. Between these recent rulings and the debacle with the Ten Commandments monument in Alabama, it might be prudent to send a copy of the Constitution to all the nation's federal judges. â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Quote of the Day

“History is written by Jonathan Winters.”

-Germaine "Double Dip" Proverb

Fortune 500 Cookie

For God's sake, don't climb up in that porcupine tree. Sorry, being optimistic still won't get you a discount on eyeglasses. Remember, "lambast" is neither a compliment nor a veterinary term. This week, you will find love where you least expected it: up the ass. Your lucky disguise: a giant plastic toucan.

Try again later.

Top 5 commune Features This Week

1.	Orson Welles Peeing in the Pool
2.	The History of Ben Wah Balls
3.	Cheech Chong Hairpiece
4.	Uncircumcised Wieners
5.	Masterpieces of Origami

How I Won the War on Terror
Contrary to popular opinion, the president assures us it can be wonâ€”and it doesn't even take peace negotiations, concessions, or changing the way we conduct business around the planet! It just requires one more check. â€” A.D.... (9/15/03)

President Unnamed Democrat
Polls show that an unnamed Democratic candidate could beat Bush if the election were held todayâ€¦. but polls say none of the nine Democratic candidates can win against Bush. It can't possibly be that Americans don't know what they want and only... (9/1/03)