the commune

Rusty Klein

Federal justices believe a "do not call" list infringes on free speech as described in the Constitution? These guys have probably never been subjected to "free speech" at home during the dinner hour. Between these recent rulings and the debacle with the Ten Commandments monument in Alabama, it might be prudent to send a copy of the Constitution to all the nation's federal judges. â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Quote of the Day

“Give me liberty or give me something better, and kick it in the ass this time, I'm late already.”

-Henry Patrick Wells

Fortune 500 Cookie

You will finally get that monkey off your back, but the tattoo removal fees will cripple your already weak home dog-waxing business. Try parting your hair on the left this week. Couldn't hurt. Look out for people dressed in blue. Nobody likes you.

Try again later.

Top 5 commune Features This Week

1.	Shit for Brains: The United Negro College Fund's Worst Fundraiser Ever
2.	Classic Rock, or Beethoven's 10th Symphony, "Stairway to Heaven"
3.	Flattering "Big Dick" Bosco
4.	We Can Win a War on Terrorism and Other Favorite Folk Tales
5.	Butter or Margarine: America's Favorite Sweat Smell

How I Won the War on Terror
Contrary to popular opinion, the president assures us it can be wonâ€”and it doesn't even take peace negotiations, concessions, or changing the way we conduct business around the planet! It just requires one more check. â€” A.D.... (9/15/03)

President Unnamed Democrat
Polls show that an unnamed Democratic candidate could beat Bush if the election were held todayâ€¦. but polls say none of the nine Democratic candidates can win against Bush. It can't possibly be that Americans don't know what they want and only... (9/1/03)