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11/28/25   
Where the customer is always... riiiiight.


Rusty Klein

Federal justices believe a "do not call" list infringes on free speech as described in the Constitution? These guys have probably never been subjected to "free speech" at home during the dinner hour. Between these recent rulings and the debacle with the Ten Commandments monument in Alabama, it might be prudent to send a copy of the Constitution to all the nation's federal judges. — Professor Jeremy Klein










Quote of the Day
“Even the smallest man among us can accomplish truly great things. And when it's over, it takes less beer for him to get drunk. That is truly great.”

-Leonard Rutland, Professional Drinking Fisherman
Fortune 500 Cookie
What are you keeping that scab for? Throw that thing away already, for Christ's sake. Too many cooks spoil the broth, and so does putting sun-dried mayonnaise in it. Remember when dad told you you'd one day do something great? You will this week—remember he said that, that is.


Try again later.
Most-Dreaded Christmas Gifts
1.Gift certificate from Bedwetters' Depot
2.Fine pewter anything
3.Lapdance from Rhonda
4.Red Commie Hilfiger jacket
5.Love
Archives
How I Won the War on Terror
Contrary to popular opinion, the president assures us it can be won—and it doesn't even take peace negotiations, concessions, or changing the way we conduct business around the planet! It just requires one more check. — A.D.... (9/15/03)

President Unnamed Democrat
Polls show that an unnamed Democratic candidate could beat Bush if the election were held today…. but polls say none of the nine Democratic candidates can win against Bush. It can't possibly be that Americans don't know what they want and only... (9/1/03)

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