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01/5/26   
Breaking down barriers like a drunken Mario Andretti


A.D. Enemy

Contrary to popular opinion, the president assures us it can be won—and it doesn't even take peace negotiations, concessions, or changing the way we conduct business around the planet! It just requires one more check. — A.D. Enemy










Milestones
1998: Omar Bricks pees off the world's largest man-made waterfall. Not really relevant to anything else, but still pretty cool.
Now Hiring
Yes Man. Agreeable sort needed to attend staff meetings and dilute the concentration of "Huh?" Men presently attending.
Top Signs You May Be Obese
1.File footage of your last beach trip keeps turning up on evening news "Obesity in America" segments
2.Telemarketers disgusted by sounds of your constant eating
3.Farm animals instinctively panic in your presence
4.Buffet mysteriously closed no matter when you arrive
5.You stopped for a snack in the middle of reading this list
Archives
President Unnamed Democrat
Polls show that an unnamed Democratic candidate could beat Bush if the election were held today…. but polls say none of the nine Democratic candidates can win against Bush. It can't possibly be that Americans don't know what they want and only... (9/1/03)

The Best Politicians Money Can Buy
Comparing the California Governor recall race to a circus seems a little unfair. Circuses occasionally have a little dignity. — A.D.... (8/18/03)

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