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03/3/26   
Help for the helpless. Hap for the hapless.


A.D. Enemy

Contrary to popular opinion, the president assures us it can be won—and it doesn't even take peace negotiations, concessions, or changing the way we conduct business around the planet! It just requires one more check. — A.D. Enemy










Milestones
1993: Ivan Nacutchacokov/Ivana Folger-Balzac honeymoon ends in stalemate.
Now Hiring
Patsy. Must be willing to take the fall for numerous state and federal offenses. Should bear a passing resemblance to Red Bagel, Omar Bricks or Rok Finger. Immunity to electrocution a plus.
Funniest Fake Names Read Aloud on Nightline
1.Tad Shitbetter
2.Grant Goodeve
3.Phil Shitbetter, beloved brother of Tad
4.Ho Chi Minh
5.Royster Culpepper Ottowa Fantastic III
Archives
President Unnamed Democrat
Polls show that an unnamed Democratic candidate could beat Bush if the election were held today…. but polls say none of the nine Democratic candidates can win against Bush. It can't possibly be that Americans don't know what they want and only... (9/1/03)

The Best Politicians Money Can Buy
Comparing the California Governor recall race to a circus seems a little unfair. Circuses occasionally have a little dignity. — A.D.... (8/18/03)

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