the commune

A.D. Enemy

Contrary to popular opinion, the president assures us it can be wonâ€”and it doesn't even take peace negotiations, concessions, or changing the way we conduct business around the planet! It just requires one more check. â€” A.D. Enemy

Milestones

1988: Future commune staff photographer Junior Bacon takes a photo that shocks the nation, until experts determine that the Sasquatch-looking thing in the picture is actually future commune editor Red Bagel.

Now Hiring

Experienced Spelunker. Needed to find a way into Ned Nedmiller's office and see if there's anyone still alive in there. Ability to speak Dutch a plus.

Top Revelations of 9/11 Investigation

1.	"World Trade Center" actually two buildings
2.	Apparently some people don't like the U.S.
3.	Bush fled Air Force One in private jet shuttle, "Baby Bush"
4.	Possibility tragic incident could have been prevented
5.	Colin Powell really nice

President Unnamed Democrat
Polls show that an unnamed Democratic candidate could beat Bush if the election were held todayâ€¦. but polls say none of the nine Democratic candidates can win against Bush. It can't possibly be that Americans don't know what they want and only... (9/1/03)

The Best Politicians Money Can Buy
Comparing the California Governor recall race to a circus seems a little unfair. Circuses occasionally have a little dignity. â€” A.D.... (8/18/03)