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01/14/26   
A happiness enema


A.D. Enemy

Contrary to popular opinion, the president assures us it can be won—and it doesn't even take peace negotiations, concessions, or changing the way we conduct business around the planet! It just requires one more check. — A.D. Enemy










Milestones
1994: Omar Bricks arrested after setting a statue of the Virgin Mary ablaze atop the Ferris wheel at the State Fair. Gets off on a technicality that goes down in legal history as the Proud Mary defense
Now Hiring
Flamenco Dancer. Leggy Latin beauty needed to, well, you know. And dance. Must be disease-free and light on the orthodontia. Garden hose-based qualifications a big plus. Mus- wait. Really? Then what the hell's flamenco?
Top 5 commune Features This Week
1.Shit for Brains: The United Negro College Fund's Worst Fundraiser Ever
2.Classic Rock, or Beethoven's 10th Symphony, "Stairway to Heaven"
3.Flattering "Big Dick" Bosco
4.We Can Win a War on Terrorism and Other Favorite Folk Tales
5.Butter or Margarine: America's Favorite Sweat Smell
Archives
President Unnamed Democrat
Polls show that an unnamed Democratic candidate could beat Bush if the election were held today…. but polls say none of the nine Democratic candidates can win against Bush. It can't possibly be that Americans don't know what they want and only... (9/1/03)

The Best Politicians Money Can Buy
Comparing the California Governor recall race to a circus seems a little unfair. Circuses occasionally have a little dignity. — A.D.... (8/18/03)

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