01/23/26
Sharks with wheels, baby.
|  Natureby Violet Tiara   September 15, 2003 Lovely limping little lepers
like to lick my Dr Pepper. Lice feel nice as honey-nuts buzz right up a buzzard's butt. Screaming beetles weave through weevils so rude they chewed all my Big League Chew. "Motherfucker!" go call Smuckers 'cause I just made some weevil jam. My own mother's been sending me Spam— Ma'am, I can only fry so much spiced ham! "Goddamn!" that ram likes Spam. "Get him a bib!" Shut up, I am. Nothing's as funny as Quakers in nature with big-ass hats and no coffee maker. Prepare to meet your maker, Quaker, those bears can smell that you're a faker. Butterflies ring septic skies like jellied lies at Mai-Tai time. Dragonflies who thought it wise bob in my drink with drowning cries. "Nature's a reamed dream," screams a beam of impure light. "You bet your bed on a cock fight, so you've got no right to prophesize." Carneys copulate with a cornucopia… This is a sorry excuse for Ethiopia! Piss on this, I declare that nature is bunk! And it smells like somebody puked on a skunk. Camping with carneys and Quakers? A fool's proposition! Now get me the hell out of here— and don't spare the ammunition! Quote of the Day“I'd like to give the world a Coke, but they'd have to share it. Actually, all anyone can do is smell it, since most of the Coke will likely have evaporated by the time it gets all the way around the world. So here you go, world: Smell my Coke.”-Dennis Freebasen Fortune 500 CookieYou're a real asshole when you're tired. Or rested. This is the week you're finally going to get pantsed for your sins. Try brushing your teeth with the other end of the brush this week: that fuzzy part's not the handle. This week's lucky things the dog wouldn't even eat: your hat on a bet, Tofutti Cuties, dog barf, Sam's Club Brand Dog Food, your homemade rhubarb pie.Try again later. Unlikeliest Candidates for New Pope
 Waiter! "A ball bearing wearing ranch dressing blessing Blanche's wedding? Upsetting," Ted grieved as he weaved his sleeve. "Hey, what did you say?" Nate was late. "Speak up toward my head, Ted." "Whose blues did Louis use?" Ted said. "Choose? I... (9/1/03) What Holds It All Together I'm careful with my stapler-- I use it when I have to, but I try not to be wasteful, lest the staples disappear I rarely use my Scotch tape; most things have to be stapled. I use paperclips aplenty, but my tape might last all year The... (8/18/03) Wet the Ted Loosely Ted did wet the bed, though none of the neighbors could hear. Not even when Teddy, his day wrecked already, wet the pillow with one salty tear. The bedroom was silent while in calculations violent Theodore did ponder his fate.... (8/4/03)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.