![]() Natureby Violet Tiara ![]() ![]() September 15, 2003 Lovely limping little lepers
like to lick my Dr Pepper. Lice feel nice as honey-nuts buzz right up a buzzard's butt. Screaming beetles weave through weevils so rude they chewed all my Big League Chew. "Motherfucker!" go call Smuckers 'cause I just made some weevil jam. My own mother's been sending me Spam— Ma'am, I can only fry so much spiced ham! "Goddamn!" that ram likes Spam. "Get him a bib!" Shut up, I am. Nothing's as funny as Quakers in nature with big-ass hats and no coffee maker. Prepare to meet your maker, Quaker, those bears can smell that you're a faker. Butterflies ring septic skies like jellied lies at Mai-Tai time. Dragonflies who thought it wise bob in my drink with drowning cries. "Nature's a reamed dream," screams a beam of impure light. "You bet your bed on a cock fight, so you've got no right to prophesize." Carneys copulate with a cornucopia… This is a sorry excuse for Ethiopia! Piss on this, I declare that nature is bunk! And it smells like somebody puked on a skunk. Camping with carneys and Quakers? A fool's proposition! Now get me the hell out of here— and don't spare the ammunition! Quote of the Day“Love, love will tear us apart again. So quit telling those jocks we both like it in the butt.”-Joy Divinski Fortune 500 CookieYou will spend so much time with your foot in your mouth this week, people will mistake it for performance art. Beat the living shit out of the first person who calls you "buddy" today—best to nip that shit in the bud. Your only remaining shot at true happiness now is joining a cult or getting hooked on heroin: your call. This week's lucky midgets: "Stretch" Svorsded, Suitcase Mike, Jimmy "Dogslapper" McVaughn, Upskirt Kilgore, Ross "The Toss" Ramstein.Try again later. Least Popular Baby |
1. | Katrina |
2. | Gigli |
3. | Scott Peterson |
4. | The King of Pop |
5. | Skullfuck |