![]() A.D. Enemy Polls show that an unnamed Democratic candidate could beat Bush if the election were held today…. but polls say none of the nine Democratic candidates can win against Bush. It can't possibly be that Americans don't know what they want and only what they don't want, so then what's the solution? Of course, run one of our leading unnamed Democratic candidates! — A.D. EnemyQuote of the Day“Get out of my way, you're crapping up my genius, dumbnuts.”-Ayn Randy Fortune 500 CookieAll of those great things we said were going to happen to you last week? Yeah, sorry, we had you mixed up with your brother. You're fucked. Try parking your car at the far end of the lot and walking this week: everyone finds the way you jiggle when you walk highly amusing. Your friends and the packaging aren't lying: that's not toothpaste. Did you really think you were going to get away with naming your son Pringles? This week's lucky ass creams: Vaseline Intensive Hair, Ditch the Itch Ultra, Smooth Movers Hibiscus Scent, Baby's Ass in a Bottle, Johnson & Johnson No More Flaming Mass of Ground Hamburger Hemorrhoid Salve.Try again later. Top 5 commune Features This Week
The Best Politicians Money Can Buy Comparing the California Governor recall race to a circus seems a little unfair. Circuses occasionally have a little dignity. — A.D.... (8/18/03) My Big Fat Illegal Gay Wedding It's a shame homosexual lobbies are using celebrity power like Richard Chamberlin and Melissa Etheridge to promote their ridiculous agenda of gay marriage, while opponents have to make due with meager politicians and wealthy religious figures. —... (8/4/03) |