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08/11/26   
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A.D. Enemy

Comparing the California Governor recall race to a circus seems a little unfair. Circuses occasionally have a little dignity. — A.D. Enemy










Milestones
1988: Future commune staff photographer Junior Bacon takes a photo that shocks the nation, until experts determine that the Sasquatch-looking thing in the picture is actually future commune editor Red Bagel.
Now Hiring
Experienced Spelunker. Needed to find a way into Ned Nedmiller's office and see if there's anyone still alive in there. Ability to speak Dutch a plus.
Top Reasons Why You Couldn't Have Killed Your Dead Wife
1.What, and miss the prime Christmas Eve fishing season?
2.Too busy having extramarital affair to plot murder
3.Pregnant wife-killing totally against religion
4.Ha. I wish!
5.Spirit too crushed from living with soulless bitch for years
Archives
My Big Fat Illegal Gay Wedding
It's a shame homosexual lobbies are using celebrity power like Richard Chamberlin and Melissa Etheridge to promote their ridiculous agenda of gay marriage, while opponents have to make due with meager politicians and wealthy religious figures. —... (8/4/03)

War's Happening
He's a formerly well-respected European leader, and a pansy allegedly left-wing neat freak! He's an uptight American conservative with a double-digit IQ and a contempt for the Constitution! Together, they have sold two countries a badly-planned war... (7/21/03)

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