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10/11/26   
We consider trade-ins


A.D. Enemy

Comparing the California Governor recall race to a circus seems a little unfair. Circuses occasionally have a little dignity. — A.D. Enemy










Quote of the Day
“Yawn and the world yawns with you. Fart and you fart alone.”

-Dr. Filbert
Fortune 500 Cookie
Stop taking it so personally when everyone tells you how ugly you are. At least you're getting noticed. That breakfast cereal you made out of Tic Tacs sure has helped your breath, but next week our crystal ball shows a diagnosis for cancer of the everything. They say dogs are a good judge of character, and even dogs don't like your screenplay. This week's lucky Tims: Tiny Tim, Spazzy Tim, Him Tim, Tim and Tim Again, Phantom Tim, Tim Saved in a Bottle.


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Top 5 commune Features This Week
1.Why the Bangles Hate Mondays So Much
2.The Death of Archie: From the Comic to the Big Screen
3.Uncle Macho's Homemade Horse Chow
4.Get Out of That Tent and Back into Your Fat Pants in 1 Month
5.Critic's Corner: National Treasure—No Nation's Treasure
Archives
My Big Fat Illegal Gay Wedding
It's a shame homosexual lobbies are using celebrity power like Richard Chamberlin and Melissa Etheridge to promote their ridiculous agenda of gay marriage, while opponents have to make due with meager politicians and wealthy religious figures. —... (8/4/03)

War's Happening
He's a formerly well-respected European leader, and a pansy allegedly left-wing neat freak! He's an uptight American conservative with a double-digit IQ and a contempt for the Constitution! Together, they have sold two countries a badly-planned war... (7/21/03)

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