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08/13/26   
Smells like teen spirit, mixed with cat piss


A.D. Enemy

Comparing the California Governor recall race to a circus seems a little unfair. Circuses occasionally have a little dignity. — A.D. Enemy










Milestones
1961: Cuban immigrant Lazlo Homales buries a small change purse in a remote section of upstate New York. Over 40 years later, commune reporter Ivan Nacutchacokov finds the purse with a metal detector, and—what the crap, two dollars?? Lousy poor immigrants!
Now Hiring
Hall Monitor. Duties include asking to see hall passes, looking like an authority figure and keeping the unpopular commune staff members out of the staff lounge. Good grades a plus.
Least Anticipated New TV Series
1.CSI Iraq
2.The Farting Flannigans
3.JAG's Pal
4.The show where the former movie star washes up on a TV sitcom
5.The Following Friends Time-Slot Show
Archives
My Big Fat Illegal Gay Wedding
It's a shame homosexual lobbies are using celebrity power like Richard Chamberlin and Melissa Etheridge to promote their ridiculous agenda of gay marriage, while opponents have to make due with meager politicians and wealthy religious figures. —... (8/4/03)

War's Happening
He's a formerly well-respected European leader, and a pansy allegedly left-wing neat freak! He's an uptight American conservative with a double-digit IQ and a contempt for the Constitution! Together, they have sold two countries a badly-planned war... (7/21/03)

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