the commune

A.D. Enemy

It's a shame homosexual lobbies are using celebrity power like Richard Chamberlin and Melissa Etheridge to promote their ridiculous agenda of gay marriage, while opponents have to make due with meager politicians and wealthy religious figures. â€” A.D. Enemy

Milestones

1979: A young Omar Bricks writes the first incarnation of what will eventually become his "My Friend Polio" column, originally titled "Why I Peed in the Water Fountain."

Now Hiring

Web Site Designer. Must have little to no professional experience, critical eye, delusions of grandeur, and think every current website sucks big ass compared to own Helmet fan page with FAQ. Starting pay of $90k to $250k, based on sheer swagger. Position will replace current asshole Neal, who should be finding out about thisâ€¦ just aboutâ€¦ now.

Top Reasons for Quitting Your Job

1.	Nobody likes my dancing
2.	Lunch hour five minutes too short
3.	Work keeps getting in way of Star Trek marathon
4.	Time clock too high to reach
5.	Sick of endless "get dressed, get undressed" grind

War's Happening
He's a formerly well-respected European leader, and a pansy allegedly left-wing neat freak! He's an uptight American conservative with a double-digit IQ and a contempt for the Constitution! Together, they have sold two countries a badly-planned war... (7/21/03)

The Big Liberia
Isn't it too bad everyone insists on protesting the administration in the middle of conflict? People should really wait until everything is fine and dandy before disagreeing with the president. â€” A.D.... (7/7/03)