America the Beautifartby Mrs. Jabonski's Third Grade Class ![]() July 21, 2003 O beautiful farts stained the skies,
For lumber made of brains, For purple Muppet maggot fleas A dove went fruity--GAY! America! America! God shaves his balls with thee. And this other dude Had a brother who'd Frenched a seal in the slimy sea! Gross! O beautiful Ford Pinto fire, And beans that give dogs gas And fat kids who eat ding dongs Until they've got a King Kong ass! America! America! God shits some grapes on thee. And stick your butt in a Pizza Hut, Until they show it on TV! O beautiful sick weasels peed, On your grandma's electric fence. When the smoke cleared the minivan Was covered in weasel dents! America! America! God barfed his brains on thee. The president kissed a pig for Lent He thought was the Virgin Mary! O beautiful retarded flies, On a seasick lion's mane For Mrs. Jabonski's bad trick knee And her husband who is gay! (fruity) America! America! God waves his butt at thee. For the Batmobile did lose a wheel And the Joker got away! Hey! Quote of the Day“Get out of my way, you're crapping up my genius, dumbnuts.”-Ayn Randy Fortune 500 CookieAll of those great things we said were going to happen to you last week? Yeah, sorry, we had you mixed up with your brother. You're fucked. Try parking your car at the far end of the lot and walking this week: everyone finds the way you jiggle when you walk highly amusing. Your friends and the packaging aren't lying: that's not toothpaste. Did you really think you were going to get away with naming your son Pringles? This week's lucky ass creams: Vaseline Intensive Hair, Ditch the Itch Ultra, Smooth Movers Hibiscus Scent, Baby's Ass in a Bottle, Johnson & Johnson No More Flaming Mass of Ground Hamburger Hemorrhoid Salve.Try again later. Top 5 commune Features This Week
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