06/12/26
More fun than an alcoholic stepdad
|  America the Beautifartby Mrs. Jabonski's Third Grade Class   July 21, 2003 O beautiful farts stained the skies,
For lumber made of brains, For purple Muppet maggot fleas A dove went fruity--GAY! America! America! God shaves his balls with thee. And this other dude Had a brother who'd Frenched a seal in the slimy sea! Gross! O beautiful Ford Pinto fire, And beans that give dogs gas And fat kids who eat ding dongs Until they've got a King Kong ass! America! America! God shits some grapes on thee. And stick your butt in a Pizza Hut, Until they show it on TV! O beautiful sick weasels peed, On your grandma's electric fence. When the smoke cleared the minivan Was covered in weasel dents! America! America! God barfed his brains on thee. The president kissed a pig for Lent He thought was the Virgin Mary! O beautiful retarded flies, On a seasick lion's mane For Mrs. Jabonski's bad trick knee And her husband who is gay! (fruity) America! America! God waves his butt at thee. For the Batmobile did lose a wheel And the Joker got away! Hey! Quote of the Day“The Devil finds work for idle hands. It's all part-time clerical work, but the pay is kick-ass. The Devil is no longer hiring for assembly work.”-Ted's Big Book of Bible Fortune 500 CookieThis week you'll finally get that pot to piss in, but before you start unzipping, we should warn you it's second-hand. Turn on, tune in, and drop out—you've missed too many days in that computer programming class. Look for a bright-eyed Aries to take away all your troubles when she shoots you in the throat. Lucky scams this week: Pyramid, carnival ring toss, Florida voter roll purges, and it's okay, I had a vasectomy.Try again later. Top 5 commune Features This Week
 Sleepwalkers Sleeping deeply, Major Fleeping rose though no alarm was beeping and made a sandwich of apple cores, which he chewed between the snores. Incessantly talking while sleepwalking, Lazlo Dennis beat at tennis a regional club pro, who, you know, ... (7/7/03) Learn About Rain The rain falls wet like sloppery skittles from the mouth of a stupid dog. The beautiful rain, it coats the trees like sex lubricant. But that's where the rivers come from. The rain slides down the trees like sweat down the crack of... (6/23/03) The Color of My Blade Is Chartreuse Who can compare the green of a sunset to the gray of a ham? Or the scarlet water that trickles down very nearly without a sound as the brown sky spans overhead… Have truer words been said? The vivid purple blood that gushes from a... (6/9/03)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.