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12/19/25   
Makes its own gravy


A.D. Enemy

He's a formerly well-respected European leader, and a pansy allegedly left-wing neat freak! He's an uptight American conservative with a double-digit IQ and a contempt for the Constitution! Together, they have sold two countries a badly-planned war and have to defend themselves! They may not get along, but now they're the only friends they have! — A.D. Enemy










Quote of the Day
“Love, love will tear us apart again. So quit telling those jocks we both like it in the butt.”

-Joy Divinski
Fortune 500 Cookie
You will spend so much time with your foot in your mouth this week, people will mistake it for performance art. Beat the living shit out of the first person who calls you "buddy" today—best to nip that shit in the bud. Your only remaining shot at true happiness now is joining a cult or getting hooked on heroin: your call. This week's lucky midgets: "Stretch" Svorsded, Suitcase Mike, Jimmy "Dogslapper" McVaughn, Upskirt Kilgore, Ross "The Toss" Ramstein.

Try again later.
Top Shocking New Barry Bonds Allegations
1.Extra 45 pounds of muscle added in 1998 not actually from special "Reverse-Atkins Crazy Carboholics" diet
2.Injected Flubber into testicles, just for hell of it
3.Paunchy, long-haired trainer "Camaro Dan" not actual fitness expert
4.Dosed with Nyquil—during daylight hours!
5.Bonds' bats made from genetically-modified maple trees
6.Therapeutic skin grafts actually beef grafts
7.Bonds-endorsed "Human Growth Flakes" cereal not safe for children
8.Bonds didn't actually write "Surfin' Safari"
9.Tasmanian Devil hormone injections not a court-ordered road rage treatment
10.Friends, relatives refer to Bonds as "Skippy"
Archives
The Big Liberia
Isn't it too bad everyone insists on protesting the administration in the middle of conflict? People should really wait until everything is fine and dandy before disagreeing with the president. — A.D.... (7/7/03)

Hillary Potter
Watch the former First Lady magically distance herself from the White House scandals and make a viable presidential bid appear out of thin air! — A.D.... (6/23/03)

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