the commune

A.D. Enemy

He's a formerly well-respected European leader, and a pansy allegedly left-wing neat freak! He's an uptight American conservative with a double-digit IQ and a contempt for the Constitution! Together, they have sold two countries a badly-planned war and have to defend themselves! They may not get along, but now they're the only friends they have! â€” A.D. Enemy

Milestones

2003: The infamous "Battle of the Bulge" breaks out at when office wench Ivana Folger-Balzac mistakes Ramrod Hurley's beerbelly for a birthing alien larvae and sets into the Acting-Editor with a can opener. The skirmish and resultant standoff lasts 18 hours and claims the lives of several Crochet! magazine staffers, for whom the commune observes a moment of near-silence.

Now Hiring

Sexecutioner. Why does everybody keep laughing when we say that? We need a dude who can kill some fucking people in an official capacity, okay? What's so funny about that? You guys are sick. Anyway, pay commensurate to experience. Must provide own mask, axe, electric chair, whatever floats your boat.

Top 5 commune Features This Week

1.	Why the Bangles Hate Mondays So Much
2.	The Death of Archie: From the Comic to the Big Screen
3.	Uncle Macho's Homemade Horse Chow
4.	Get Out of That Tent and Back into Your Fat Pants in 1 Month
5.	Critic's Corner: National Treasureâ€”No Nation's Treasure

The Big Liberia
Isn't it too bad everyone insists on protesting the administration in the middle of conflict? People should really wait until everything is fine and dandy before disagreeing with the president. â€” A.D.... (7/7/03)

Hillary Potter
Watch the former First Lady magically distance herself from the White House scandals and make a viable presidential bid appear out of thin air! â€” A.D.... (6/23/03)