the commune

A.D. Enemy

He's a formerly well-respected European leader, and a pansy allegedly left-wing neat freak! He's an uptight American conservative with a double-digit IQ and a contempt for the Constitution! Together, they have sold two countries a badly-planned war and have to defend themselves! They may not get along, but now they're the only friends they have! â€” A.D. Enemy

Milestones

1931: Former commune columnist Sampson L. Hartwig forfeits another "Race Around the World" when it is discovered that he merely hid in a barn for three days, then took a taxi in from the opposite side of town, claiming victory.

Now Hiring

Compulsive Ass-Kisser. Shameless suck-up needed to boost general staff morale and cut down on work days lost to crippling depression. Total lack of discernment required. Insane "Never met a man I didn't like" attitude a plus.

Top-Grossing Documentaries

1.	Dicking Around on the Set of 'Attack of the Clones'
2.	The Making of Anal Armageddon
3.	Thomas Kincade: Watch Me Shine
4.	The Making of Anal Armageddon 2: The Lost Footage
5.	More Kittens Batting at String

The Big Liberia
Isn't it too bad everyone insists on protesting the administration in the middle of conflict? People should really wait until everything is fine and dandy before disagreeing with the president. â€” A.D.... (7/7/03)

Hillary Potter
Watch the former First Lady magically distance herself from the White House scandals and make a viable presidential bid appear out of thin air! â€” A.D.... (6/23/03)