the commune

A.D. Enemy

Isn't it too bad everyone insists on protesting the administration in the middle of conflict? People should really wait until everything is fine and dandy before disagreeing with the president. â€” A.D. Enemy

Milestones

1988: Future commune staff photographer Junior Bacon takes a photo that shocks the nation, until experts determine that the Sasquatch-looking thing in the picture is actually future commune editor Red Bagel.

Now Hiring

Experienced Spelunker. Needed to find a way into Ned Nedmiller's office and see if there's anyone still alive in there. Ability to speak Dutch a plus.

Top Samuel Berger Excuses for Hiding Documents in Pants

1.	Was hoping only hot babes had clearance to read pages.
2.	In early stages of making a nest for baby starlings.
3.	Not everybody can afford a snazzy briefcase, Rockefeller.
4.	Trying to conceive children; needed to keep the boys warm.
5.	Classify this, motherfucker.

Hillary Potter
Watch the former First Lady magically distance herself from the White House scandals and make a viable presidential bid appear out of thin air! â€” A.D.... (6/23/03)

Abbas Road: Middle East Peace Talks
Copping the stance of great men doesn't make for great men. â€” A.D.... (6/9/03)