the commune

A.D. Enemy

Watch the former First Lady magically distance herself from the White House scandals and make a viable presidential bid appear out of thin air! â€” A.D. Enemy

Quote of the Day

“1.327493 is the loneliest number. Technically.”

-Inglebert Thomas, Professor of Mathematics

Fortune 500 Cookie

You will quit smoking, but only in hospital nurseries. One step at a time, baby. You will finally lose that unwanted 50 pounds, thanks to a fortuitous kidnapping. The bank won't be your only withdrawal this week, drugnuts. You will believe everything you read.

Try again later.

Top Shocking New Barry Bonds Allegations

1.	Extra 45 pounds of muscle added in 1998 not actually from special "Reverse-Atkins Crazy Carboholics" diet
2.	Injected Flubber into testicles, just for hell of it
3.	Paunchy, long-haired trainer "Camaro Dan" not actual fitness expert
4.	Dosed with Nyquilâ€”during daylight hours!
5.	Bonds' bats made from genetically-modified maple trees
6.	Therapeutic skin grafts actually beef grafts
7.	Bonds-endorsed "Human Growth Flakes" cereal not safe for children
8.	Bonds didn't actually write "Surfin' Safari"
9.	Tasmanian Devil hormone injections not a court-ordered road rage treatment
10.	Friends, relatives refer to Bonds as "Skippy"

Abbas Road: Middle East Peace Talks
Copping the stance of great men doesn't make for great men. â€” A.D.... (6/9/03)

The Tax Cut
Congress has recently passed a $350 billion tax cut designed by President Bush to boost the economy, but can a cut that only adds to a ballooning federal deficit have any effect but to shake a nation's confidence in its government while saddling... (5/26/03)