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08/22/26   
Like a game of Lonely, Lonely Hippos


A.D. Enemy

Copping the stance of great men doesn't make for great men. — A.D. Enemy










Milestones
1998: Future turncoat Raoul Dunkin joins the burgeoning commune staff, blatantly lying about his desire to learn more about alternative journalism and liking Red Bagel's haircut.
Now Hiring
Taxi Driver. Duties include awaiting passengers, driving passengers to and from desired locations, growing increasingly paranoid, cutting hair in extreme fashion and shooting pimps in bloody finale.
Top Things Overheard at Your High School Reunion
1."Oh My God—you haven't changed your clothes a bit!"
2."I haven't seen you since the date rape."
3."Man, were you right about Dishwalla. One-hit wonders."
4."Best friends 4-ever, my ass! Where were you at the trial, motherfucker?!?"
5."That guy used to be a real dick. Don't let that priest outfit fool you."
6."You still owe me four push-ups, wiseguy—don't think I've forgotten."
7."Want to dance with me, Charlie? Or is it Charlene now?"
8."The old gymnasium still smells like burned flesh—what memories!"
9."So tell me why we needed to learn proofs again?"
10."Mr. 'Most Likely to Succeed' came into Denny's last night for an application. Revenge, like our soup, is best served cold."
Archives
The Tax Cut
Congress has recently passed a $350 billion tax cut designed by President Bush to boost the economy, but can a cut that only adds to a ballooning federal deficit have any effect but to shake a nation's confidence in its government while saddling... (5/26/03)

Safter with Nukes?
Wherever you stand on the Bush presidency, the White House's encouragement that Congress lift a 10-year ban on small-scale nuclear weapons must at least seem short-sighted. Coming out of a war with a comparatively low body count where nuclear... (5/12/03)

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