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12/9/25   
A yawning abyss... for kids!


Rusty Klein

Congress has recently passed a $350 billion tax cut designed by President Bush to boost the economy, but can a cut that only adds to a ballooning federal deficit have any effect but to shake a nation's confidence in its government while saddling future generations with debt? And during hard financial times, how can the president justify a tax cut that so lopsidedly benefits the already wealthy at the expense of the working class? — Professor Jeremy Klein










Milestones
131 B.C.: Roman inventor Pontius creates love accidentally while trying to come up with a perfume that staves off homosexuality. Anyone who disagrees, we invite them to tell us who created love then.
Now Hiring
Barber. Staff barber sought to keep heads neat and trim, faces clean shaven, and reduce hippieness by at least 30%. Own scissors and weird Vitalis smell a plus. Controversial "tell-it-like-it-is" barbers need not apply.
Top 5 Saddam Hussein Defenses
1.Play ol' Islamic Jihad card
2.Cast suspicion on Burt Reynolds, give jury reasonable doubt
3.Surprise witnesses: Several Kurds he didn't condemn to death
4.Present several bags of children's letters he received
5.Comical "I have good news—I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance" gag defense
Archives
Safter with Nukes?
Wherever you stand on the Bush presidency, the White House's encouragement that Congress lift a 10-year ban on small-scale nuclear weapons must at least seem short-sighted. Coming out of a war with a comparatively low body count where nuclear... (5/12/03)

Deceit in China
China lost even more credibility recently as a nation dedicated to the safety of its people. The rest of the world is now marking how China's attempts to hush up the outbreak of SARS not only put thousands of Chinese citizens at risk, possibly... (4/28/03)

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