Party Bus

by Dickie Torberg

May 12, 2003

Vincent Van Gogh
where did you go?
If you'd have just waited for me
I'd have been your buddy.

We could have got sandwiches
and drove around in my van.
That would've been pretty fun,
sorry you missed it man.

Ernest Hemmingway,
you too guy.
I'm sure your shit got heavy
and made you want to write or cry.

But nothing a little Bicardi
couldn't have made go down smoother,
and a heart to heart
or trip down to the strip club with me and Luthor.

Plus sometimes when you're down
Playstation can be kind of fun.
That may sound silly but you'd be surprised.
That shit can cheer you up, son.

Sylvia Plath
you're another one.
I know you were a chick and all
but we coulda been tight, not like you was a nun.

I should get a big bus or something
go back in time and round up all you sad fuckers.
That would be one rockin' party bus
as long as you all weren't depressed at once.

I guess it just goes to show
no matter how bad the fuss
you don't know what's right around the corner.
Could be me and Luthor in the party bus.

Too bad y'all fucked up and missed it.

Quote of the Day

“I never met a man I didn't like, want to kill.”

-Dill "California Angst" Wongers

Fortune 500 Cookie

You will fall in love with a new douche this week, a fact that unfortunately has nothing at all to do with feminine hygiene. Try to pay more attention to your figure: word on the street is you're upgrading from "pear-shaped" to "sack of shit-y." You will finally come to understand the phrase "fifteen men on a dead man's chest" this week, thanks to an unfortunate dogpile mishap. Your lucky perfumes: Colonic for Men, Goat's Dong, Eau Du Crapper.

Try again later.

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5.	Critics' Corner: The Sailboat My Husband Painted

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