Party Bus

by Dickie Torberg

May 12, 2003

Vincent Van Gogh
where did you go?
If you'd have just waited for me
I'd have been your buddy.

We could have got sandwiches
and drove around in my van.
That would've been pretty fun,
sorry you missed it man.

Ernest Hemmingway,
you too guy.
I'm sure your shit got heavy
and made you want to write or cry.

But nothing a little Bicardi
couldn't have made go down smoother,
and a heart to heart
or trip down to the strip club with me and Luthor.

Plus sometimes when you're down
Playstation can be kind of fun.
That may sound silly but you'd be surprised.
That shit can cheer you up, son.

Sylvia Plath
you're another one.
I know you were a chick and all
but we coulda been tight, not like you was a nun.

I should get a big bus or something
go back in time and round up all you sad fuckers.
That would be one rockin' party bus
as long as you all weren't depressed at once.

I guess it just goes to show
no matter how bad the fuss
you don't know what's right around the corner.
Could be me and Luthor in the party bus.

Too bad y'all fucked up and missed it.

Quote of the Day

“How does it feel? To be on your own? With no direction home? Not even an amber alert? And nobody's bound to look in this van, so keep quiet and just try to enjoy yourself.”

-Bobby Molesterman, now doing 15-25

Fortune 500 Cookie

Nobody thought it was funny when you said you snorted your dad's ashes, so it's best not to mention going bowling with your mom's skillâ€”your first instinct was right, nobody gets your sense of humor. Tough love is not the only kind of love, except in prison, so you'd better learn to like it. Lucky Strikesâ€”smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Try again later.

Top 5 Reasons You Won't Have to Kick Around the commune For Anymore

1.	Itâ€™s expensive to run state of the art website and Dippinâ€™ Dots franchise at the same time
2.	You assholes simply refused to spell our name appropriately in lowercase letters
3.	All of this was for date with girl at Blockbuster; she donâ€™t work there no more
4.	Less writing and online publishing leaves more time to hang out at coffee shop writing thinly veiled autobiographic novel
5.	You never loved us

Up, Up and Away
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Ray Manatino's Reworked Classics
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Curses
I curse you with the spirit of Ralhallah, for charging me this late fee, Blockbuster. The one-eyed stare of Tulanjabi will seal the fate of thee, cock-buster. And you, over there, you Jiffy Lube: I reserve for you the Pains of Urdubaas for... (3/31/03)