the commune

Rusty Klein

Wherever you stand on the Bush presidency, the White House's encouragement that Congress lift a 10-year ban on small-scale nuclear weapons must at least seem short-sighted. Coming out of a war with a comparatively low body count where nuclear weapons were unnecessary, it is logical to question the purpose of legalizing our nuclear weapons production again. Is the president insane or simply unconcerned about the potential damage to humanity and the environment? â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Milestones

1982: Rok Finger's scheduled sex change operation is cancelled when he's told the technology does not yet exist to change your sex from "Bone Dry in Death Valley" to "Gettin' Some."

Now Hiring

Goofus. Extreme cosmic fuck-up needed to offset commune staff as a whole boatload of Gallants. Pratfalls a plus. Strike that: Apparently we already filled this position with some Pludd guy months ago. Thought he was just an office in-joke, sorry.

John Kerry's Vision for America

1.	Americans shouldn't be despised everywhere abroad; only France
2.	Health care for each and every American with insurance
3.	A chicken in every pot, and pot for everyone without a chicken
4.	Make Affleck and J-Lo realize they're still in love
5.	Sterilize all Bush males

Deceit in China
China lost even more credibility recently as a nation dedicated to the safety of its people. The rest of the world is now marking how China's attempts to hush up the outbreak of SARS not only put thousands of Chinese citizens at risk, possibly... (4/28/03)

Kerry's Flip-Flop
Democratic presidential candidate and Senator John Kerry has come out harshly critical of the Bush administration, calling for a "regime change," using the president's anti-Iraq rhetoric against him. All fair and right, but the fact that Kerry... (4/14/03)