the commune

Rusty Klein

China lost even more credibility recently as a nation dedicated to the safety of its people. The rest of the world is now marking how China's attempts to hush up the outbreak of SARS not only put thousands of Chinese citizens at risk, possibly condemning some to the disease who would not have otherwise had it, it also left the rest of the world unprepared for the international outbreak. â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Quote of the Day

“The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas! Except near Houston, Dallas or Fort Worth. Talk about your smog. Jesus, this song's gonna need another verse.”

-Clement B. Doogle

Fortune 500 Cookie

Mama said there'd be days like this, but the bitch lied. The success or failure of this coming week hinges on your proper understanding of the word "gonad," so take our advice and go buy a dictionary now, Skippy. Order lots of Chinese food this week, but don't pick it up. This week's lucky accidents: back-flip off ladder onto hardwood floor, lip caught on drain while bathtub's full, wearing flammable jumpsuit to Great White concert, 15 car pile-up.

Try again later.

5 Phrases Guaranteed to Get You Slapped

1.	My testicles feel funny. Do they feel funny to you?
2.	You're very pretty. For a man, I mean.
3.	Why don't you go back to the kitchen and sit on this egg until it's hatched, bitch.
4.	If anyone wants to suck my cock, laugh awkwardly.
5.	Our greatest mistake as a country was fighting to keep Texas (Texas only)

Kerry's Flip-Flop
Democratic presidential candidate and Senator John Kerry has come out harshly critical of the Bush administration, calling for a "regime change," using the president's anti-Iraq rhetoric against him. All fair and right, but the fact that Kerry... (4/14/03)

Bush Vs. the U.N.
Instead of seeking U.N. approval for the War with Iraq, the Bush administration has elected to move forward in defiance of worldwide protests. With very few allies in our aggression against Saddam Hussein, who is going to believe our claims of moral... (3/31/03)