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02/5/26   
We just don't make 'em like we used to


Rusty Klein

Instead of seeking U.N. approval for the War with Iraq, the Bush administration has elected to move forward in defiance of worldwide protests. With very few allies in our aggression against Saddam Hussein, who is going to believe our claims of moral justification? — Professor Jeremy Klein










Milestones
2001: Bogus office psychic Mazie the chicken predicts radical arab terrorists will attack giant silver towers and a military stronghold on Sept. 10th. An angry Red Bagel eventually takes away her predictions column.
Now Hiring
Nanny. Traditional English dress and accent required, none of that rough Brooklyn flower bullshit. Strong musical training and good voice a must. Should be able to rhyme easily, even if only creating nonsensical words in most of songs. We provide spoonfuls of sugar and medicine, as well as company umbrella. Three references needed.
Worst-Selling Breakfast Cereals
1.Scroats!
2.Branimal Crackers
3.Frosted Mini-Thins
4.Too Much Fibre
5.Vitamin Pill Crunch
6.Unlucky Leprechaun Pocket Fuzz
7.Byproducts
8.Easter Peeps in Milk (milk included)
9.You’ve Got Crabs
10.Beano: The Cereal
Archives
GOP Rollback
Hiding under a barrage of Iraq media coverage, the Republicans again worked to undermine gains in women's reproductive rights by passing their ban on partial-birth abortions through the Senate. Even if the war with Iraq is a dismal failure, the GOP... (3/17/03)

Cloning Science
Science has succeeded in cloning, first sheep, now possibly humans—if you limit success to the creation and not the quality of life. Dolly, the cloned sheep, was put to death at 6 years old this week, half the life of a natural-born sheep. It... (2/17/03)

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