the commune

Rusty Klein

Instead of seeking U.N. approval for the War with Iraq, the Bush administration has elected to move forward in defiance of worldwide protests. With very few allies in our aggression against Saddam Hussein, who is going to believe our claims of moral justification? â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Milestones

1931: Former commune columnist Sampson L. Hartwig forfeits another "Race Around the World" when it is discovered that he merely hid in a barn for three days, then took a taxi in from the opposite side of town, claiming victory.

Now Hiring

Compulsive Ass-Kisser. Shameless suck-up needed to boost general staff morale and cut down on work days lost to crippling depression. Total lack of discernment required. Insane "Never met a man I didn't like" attitude a plus.

Least Effective SARS Protective Efforts

1.	Stop breathing
2.	Fire handgun blindly at coughs
3.	Smoking deceased SARS victims
4.	Wave hand, say "Don't go in Toronto! Whew!"
5.	Drinking imported Hong Kong bathwater

GOP Rollback
Hiding under a barrage of Iraq media coverage, the Republicans again worked to undermine gains in women's reproductive rights by passing their ban on partial-birth abortions through the Senate. Even if the war with Iraq is a dismal failure, the GOP... (3/17/03)

Cloning Science
Science has succeeded in cloning, first sheep, now possibly humansâ€”if you limit success to the creation and not the quality of life. Dolly, the cloned sheep, was put to death at 6 years old this week, half the life of a natural-born sheep. It... (2/17/03)