the commune

Rusty Klein

Hiding under a barrage of Iraq media coverage, the Republicans again worked to undermine gains in women's reproductive rights by passing their ban on partial-birth abortions through the Senate. Even if the war with Iraq is a dismal failure, the GOP is already succeeding in attempts to rollback Democratic policies won by the Clinton White House, with the American public none the wiser. â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Quote of the Day

“The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas! Except near Houston, Dallas or Fort Worth. Talk about your smog. Jesus, this song's gonna need another verse.”

-Clement B. Doogle

Fortune 500 Cookie

Mama said there'd be days like this, but the bitch lied. The success or failure of this coming week hinges on your proper understanding of the word "gonad," so take our advice and go buy a dictionary now, Skippy. Order lots of Chinese food this week, but don't pick it up. This week's lucky accidents: back-flip off ladder onto hardwood floor, lip caught on drain while bathtub's full, wearing flammable jumpsuit to Great White concert, 15 car pile-up.

Try again later.

Top Enduring 2004 Election Scandals

1.	Bush didn't really win; they forgot to count the comatose vote
2.	Identical twins voted twice, ignoring "1 Face, 1 Vote" principle
3.	Every 13th vote discarded as "unlucky"
4.	Too many precincts used antiquated paper ballots
5.	Too many precincts used newfangled electric voting machines
6.	10,000 Florida voters cast ballots for dead man: John Kerry
7.	Too many military absentee ballots were marked for Bush: Now that's just stupid
8.	No paper trail for southern state "applause-o-meter" polling technique
9.	Oh sweet Jesus, Bush really won!
10.	Eskimos kept away from polls by sheer geography

Cloning Science
Science has succeeded in cloning, first sheep, now possibly humansâ€”if you limit success to the creation and not the quality of life. Dolly, the cloned sheep, was put to death at 6 years old this week, half the life of a natural-born sheep. It... (2/17/03)

Israeli Politics
President Sharon's brutal military strikes on Palestine just days before the Israeli elections has all the stink of political posturing and pandering to the base emotions of the lowest common denominator. But can such a lack of political integrity... (2/3/03)