08/31/26
Not really trying since 2001
|  Alphabet Soupby Skippy LeBonne   March 17, 2003 Monday, March 17, 2003
Anemic anteaters from Azerbaijan bounce from brassieres and bark at batons. Cold-water codfish cause cramps in the colon of a dark-dimpled debutante named Deborah Dedolin. East of the egg factory, eyes can enjoy fat-fingered Francophiles fasting in festive Flournoy. "Great!" gabbed the grouse-eating Gregory Gregross. "How homey, a heart heals in the hearths of hosts." Incredulous Incans inspect his inflection while judicious Japanese gents make joking suggestions. Kiss-kindling Kansans knit knives in a knot as laconic Laotians look lazy a lot. Merely making mention of meatloaf as he might Nicholas Nanewton needs news of the night: "Only obliging an orange or one oat… perhaps peas, persimmons, parsley? Please promote quietly, quaintly and quite quick the quality of radishes and rubarb and ruffled red roe! Salmon swim stateside and slip slightly slow through thoughts that trip toward the tip of my toe, underneath unusual ulcers until or unless venomous vitamins vent my vile stress." Wouldn't we want well-worded wishes which examine such exciting expository expertise on dishes? "Yes, young Yertle, yesterday you might. Yet zebras zipping zeppelins is too much. Goodnight." Quote of the Day“Speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech you will ever regret. Speak when you are extremely angry and you'll really regret it—all stuttering and shit, like Porky Pig. And they'll just make fun of you. I know I would.”-Ambruce Fierce Fortune 500 CookieStick it where the sun don't shine—that's the only way you'll be sure it glows in the dark. Does this look like medium rare to you? Take it back or there goes your tip. If you could ask God one question, don't make it, "Who farted?" Take a self-time out this week, but don't just waste it by yourself; extract the time itself from the timeline, so you can put it back wherever you want. Lucky legends this week: Sasquatch, the Jersey Devil, Abominable Snowman, and other Bigfoot rip-offs.Try again later. Worst Things to Yell in Church
 Scream, You Monkey Scream, you monkey like the wrath of all bananas was on your ass or like you just found out your Visa card was rejected. That's right, you ape with your little hat and jacket you thought you had it all figured out not so smug now, are... (3/3/03) The Walrus Said The time has come, the walrus said, to smoke a box of crack. Fucking walrus! Stay out of my drug box, and you're standing on my sack! Don't make me cook you in hot whale oil for absconding with my stash! Your constant questions ... (2/17/03) The Truth About Ice Cubes I've heard ice cubes scream like unpleasant human beings when I dunk them into my drink. I'd say they're alive, don't you think? Formed in their trays like a nursery, living their lives brief and cursory, but is everything quite what it... (2/3/03)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.