Flying High with the Pilot

Well, we finished shooting the pilot for Archipelago Law, and on risk of ruining the surprise for everyone, the show's good.

It was a pretty tough shoot, since we filmed on location on an uncharted desert isle, but we managed to get all the key exterior scenes in under three days before the Carnival Cruise departed without us. All interior shots can be finished on the studio lot in California. Of course, there's no interior shots for the show at this time because it all happens on a desert island, but if we ever build some huts or anything all those interior shots can probably be shot on the lot. It will be really awesome to go back to the Paramount lot again now that I have a reason to be there and they can't keep me out.

Everyone on the show is really nice and supportive so far, although there are about three cast members and a caterer I wouldn't miss if they got pink-slipped. John Flomp, the series' other star, is a real dear. Cute, sexy, even a little attractive, but he agrees with me two people who work together shouldn't be involved together, as I was thinking just before he said it. So I guess I wouldn't be really hurt if he got fired either.

The story is pretty good , for a two-hour pilot. One of those unsolvable murder mysteries that'll keep the audience guessing all the way through. There's really not much for me to do in the first episode, it's more focused on developing the character of Sheriff Burger, but I have some really great close-ups and eye contact with the Sheriff in the final scene where he's arresting the twins.

As if it needed saying, I did stupendous. I haven't acted in a long, long time, and it really shows—I have boundless energy. There was even a few times the director had to stop the shoot to tell me to stop moving around in the background, or get out of the scene since I wasn't in it. I was afraid I would blow my line, but when the moment of truth came, I was back like I'd never taken a six-year forced break.

For those of you unfamiliar with the process, now comes the long waiting period we call "past-production" where the editor people put together the complete show from all the shot footage. It takes forever in movies, but usually it's a lot quicker in television since television editors half-ass everything. It's usually the worst part of a job for me, waiting to see the finished product, but Producer Matt Viggoschultz said he's "72 percent sure" I would make the final cut. That's alright in my book! As many times as I got into shots I wasn't even scripted for, that TV editor would have to be a real fuck-up to keep me out of the entire show. So tune in to UPN whenever it comes on and you'll see Clarissa Coleman on the silver screen again.

This has been a banner year for me so far, as you can guess. First I got this job, then I got my electricity turned back on… it's like everything's coming up Clarissa. But that's no reason to settle. I'm starting to think if this show has the success I think it will, I may want to consider moving on before it gets stale and tired. It's imperative in this business to know when to move on, it's something the finely-tuned nose can smell in the air. It's been fun with the show, don't get me wrong, but it's good to keep my options in mind. I don't want to go on playing the same role over and over—I'm an actor, I need to stretch. So if the show hits I'll look at going on to a movie career, or see if I can spin Shelly off into my own series.

Of course, it's dangerous to get ahead of yourself, too. I'd better at least make sure this actually shows up on TV first. I'd hate for a repeat of that time I starred in that video only to have it show up on the Internet instead of Showtime.

Sister, Can You Spare a Dime?
So I needed some start-up capital, right? Since they shut my lights off and won't start them back up until they get a check. I thought about going to my parents, then I remembered they have no money and would make me do chores or something for it... (2/17/03)

I Have a Lazy E-Mailman
Anyone who knows anything about me (kids with book reports: attention) knows I have two mortal enemies: Lindsay Wagner and computers. Of course, one is a dumb electronic appliance and my fear and hatred is just an irrational phobia; and then there's... (2/3/03)

The Big Clarissa Coleman Comeback
Oh, jiminy! Thanks for whatever good thoughts you sent me, folks! And if you didn't, I wish you all a long burning eternity in hell. Somebody must have been on my side because I got the part! Yippie! Perhaps you couldn't read it in this small,... (1/20/03)

The Audition
Wish me luck, keep your fingers crossed, and break both your legs. Clarissa Coleman is all lined up for a big audition. I don't usually tell you about auditions, I know. I like to keep some secrecy, some little things private to myself. That and... (1/6/03)