the commune

Rusty Klein

Science has succeeded in cloning, first sheep, now possibly humansâ€”if you limit success to the creation and not the quality of life. Dolly, the cloned sheep, was put to death at 6 years old this week, half the life of a natural-born sheep. It looks like once again our science has surpassed our common sense. â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Milestones

2003: The infamous "Battle of the Bulge" breaks out at when office wench Ivana Folger-Balzac mistakes Ramrod Hurley's beerbelly for a birthing alien larvae and sets into the Acting-Editor with a can opener. The skirmish and resultant standoff lasts 18 hours and claims the lives of several Crochet! magazine staffers, for whom the commune observes a moment of near-silence.

Now Hiring

Sexecutioner. Why does everybody keep laughing when we say that? We need a dude who can kill some fucking people in an official capacity, okay? What's so funny about that? You guys are sick. Anyway, pay commensurate to experience. Must provide own mask, axe, electric chair, whatever floats your boat.

Best John Travolta Comeback Films

1.	Pulp Fiction (1994)
2.	Look Who's Talking (1989)
3.	Blow Out (1981)
4.	Staying Alive (1983)
5.	Welcome Back, Sweat Hogs (2003)

Israeli Politics
President Sharon's brutal military strikes on Palestine just days before the Israeli elections has all the stink of political posturing and pandering to the base emotions of the lowest common denominator. But can such a lack of political integrity... (2/3/03)

Anti-Drug Education
In an outrageous effort to quell worries about drug involvement in the recent accidental bombing of a Canadian infantry unit by two American fighter pilots on amphetamines, the U.S. military has presented experts claiming the intake of amphetamines... (1/20/03)