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09/14/26   
Your very own shallow grave


Rusty Klein

Science has succeeded in cloning, first sheep, now possibly humans—if you limit success to the creation and not the quality of life. Dolly, the cloned sheep, was put to death at 6 years old this week, half the life of a natural-born sheep. It looks like once again our science has surpassed our common sense. — Professor Jeremy Klein










Milestones
2004: President Bush, in a farewell address to the nation, apologizes for corruption in his administration and senseless slaughter of American lives, as well as the mangling of the language (courtesy of Future Bob).
Now Hiring
New Now Hiring Guy. What can we say? Richie quit. Stupid, if you ask us. It was a sweet gig. Most of time he never even got any applications or resumes to review. He just made up half these jobs, but don't tell anyone we said so. You just can't make some people happy.
Top Five Worst Things to Hear in an Iraqi Prison
1."Oh, wow! Hold still, let me get my camera!"
2."From now on, the conduct of corrections officers will be supervised by Private Pyle."
3."Looks like we're going to be here a while. Good thing I brought my harmonica."
4."These tattoos? Aryan Brotherhood."
5."And another thing—you jokers have cried 'Rape!' once too often. I'm not falling for it anymore."
Archives
Israeli Politics
President Sharon's brutal military strikes on Palestine just days before the Israeli elections has all the stink of political posturing and pandering to the base emotions of the lowest common denominator. But can such a lack of political integrity... (2/3/03)

Anti-Drug Education
In an outrageous effort to quell worries about drug involvement in the recent accidental bombing of a Canadian infantry unit by two American fighter pilots on amphetamines, the U.S. military has presented experts claiming the intake of amphetamines... (1/20/03)

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