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09/23/26   
Shit sandwich


Rusty Klein

Science has succeeded in cloning, first sheep, now possibly humans—if you limit success to the creation and not the quality of life. Dolly, the cloned sheep, was put to death at 6 years old this week, half the life of a natural-born sheep. It looks like once again our science has surpassed our common sense. — Professor Jeremy Klein










Milestones
1985: Ramrod Hurley flim-flams his way into the studio for the recording of We Are the World. Though his subversive lyrics go unsung, Hurley's taser-induced squeal can be heard two minutes into the track, a sound previously attributed to Cyndi Lauper.
Now Hiring
Conductor. General musical duties as expected: bossing around, waving arms, taking care of stick. Also needed to close gap in circuit between air conditioning unit and power main. Seeking an electric personality who loves going barefoot. Lack of close relatives or body hair a plus.
Most Painful Music Lawsuits
1.Christopher Cross vs. Kris Kross (1992)
2.John Fogerty vs. John Fogerty (1985)
3.Warner Bros. vs. Pri.. The Ar.. That Guy Over There in the Pastel Pants (1994)
4.Michael Jackson vs. Insane Kahlil's Rhinoplasty (1987)
5.The Ghost of Nat "King" Cole vs. Natalie Cole (1991)
Archives
Israeli Politics
President Sharon's brutal military strikes on Palestine just days before the Israeli elections has all the stink of political posturing and pandering to the base emotions of the lowest common denominator. But can such a lack of political integrity... (2/3/03)

Anti-Drug Education
In an outrageous effort to quell worries about drug involvement in the recent accidental bombing of a Canadian infantry unit by two American fighter pilots on amphetamines, the U.S. military has presented experts claiming the intake of amphetamines... (1/20/03)

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