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11/29/25   
Smells like teen spirit, mixed with cat piss


Rusty Klein

Science has succeeded in cloning, first sheep, now possibly humans—if you limit success to the creation and not the quality of life. Dolly, the cloned sheep, was put to death at 6 years old this week, half the life of a natural-born sheep. It looks like once again our science has surpassed our common sense. — Professor Jeremy Klein










Milestones
1985: Ramrod Hurley flim-flams his way into the studio for the recording of We Are the World. Though his subversive lyrics go unsung, Hurley's taser-induced squeal can be heard two minutes into the track, a sound previously attributed to Cyndi Lauper.
Now Hiring
Conductor. General musical duties as expected: bossing around, waving arms, taking care of stick. Also needed to close gap in circuit between air conditioning unit and power main. Seeking an electric personality who loves going barefoot. Lack of close relatives or body hair a plus.
Top New Orleans Rebuilding Proposals
1.Houseboats for all!
2.Move entire city to Ames, Iowa, just to see what happens
3.Dig city another 20 feet lower, install Plexiglas ceiling for viewing marine life
4.Pave over city to create parking lot for Atlanta SuperTarget
5.Fuck it, the place was way too French anyway
Archives
Israeli Politics
President Sharon's brutal military strikes on Palestine just days before the Israeli elections has all the stink of political posturing and pandering to the base emotions of the lowest common denominator. But can such a lack of political integrity... (2/3/03)

Anti-Drug Education
In an outrageous effort to quell worries about drug involvement in the recent accidental bombing of a Canadian infantry unit by two American fighter pilots on amphetamines, the U.S. military has presented experts claiming the intake of amphetamines... (1/20/03)

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