09/18/25
The Official Website of the 2003 Olympics
|  The Walrus Saidby Chase Spergen   February 17, 2003 The time has come,
the walrus said, to smoke a box of crack. Fucking walrus! Stay out of my drug box, and you're standing on my sack! Don't make me cook you in hot whale oil for absconding with my stash! Your constant questions and oblique riddles are giving me a rash! The time has come, the walrus said, to eat some more grilled cheese. Fuck you walrus! You ate all my red hots! Now get out of the refrigerator please! You weren't invited! You are not wanted! Just take a hint and leave! And don't think I can't see you over there, blowing your nose on my sleeve! The time has come, the walrus said, to watch Cannonball Run 2. We just watched that! You must be joking! I cannot believe you! Get out of my apartment, you fucking moocher! I've really had enough! And don't forget your sleeping bag that smells like ocean stuff! Get the fuck out! Flop toward the door! Take your big teeth and leave! I'm serious, that fishy stench is enough to make me heave! The time has come the walrus said, to prank call Emilio Estavez. Goddamn you walrus! Didn't you hear a single word I said? I said to go! I said to split! I sai- Now hold up, son. On second thought, toss me the phone. That sounds kind of fun. Quote of the Day“I cannot tell a lie—I like big butts. You other brothers can't deny. My anaconda don't want none, lest you have buns, hon.”-George Wizzleswishington Fortune 500 CookieOur apologies, but the guy doing your fortune was a complete fraud—hmph. You'd think we'd have seen that coming. This week, reconsider investing in those flame-retardant pajamas for the little ones. Definitely Burger King—definitely. Lucky dusts this week: Gold, saw, angel, and the stuff on grampa's skin.Try again later. Least Popular Howard Stern Guests
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Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.