01/20/26
Hey, we thought you liked crap.
|  The Walrus Saidby Chase Spergen   February 17, 2003 The time has come,
the walrus said, to smoke a box of crack. Fucking walrus! Stay out of my drug box, and you're standing on my sack! Don't make me cook you in hot whale oil for absconding with my stash! Your constant questions and oblique riddles are giving me a rash! The time has come, the walrus said, to eat some more grilled cheese. Fuck you walrus! You ate all my red hots! Now get out of the refrigerator please! You weren't invited! You are not wanted! Just take a hint and leave! And don't think I can't see you over there, blowing your nose on my sleeve! The time has come, the walrus said, to watch Cannonball Run 2. We just watched that! You must be joking! I cannot believe you! Get out of my apartment, you fucking moocher! I've really had enough! And don't forget your sleeping bag that smells like ocean stuff! Get the fuck out! Flop toward the door! Take your big teeth and leave! I'm serious, that fishy stench is enough to make me heave! The time has come the walrus said, to prank call Emilio Estavez. Goddamn you walrus! Didn't you hear a single word I said? I said to go! I said to split! I sai- Now hold up, son. On second thought, toss me the phone. That sounds kind of fun. Quote of the Day“I have not yet begun to finish my senten…”-John Paul Jones Fortune 500 CookieEverything’s looking up this week, to avoid making eye contact with you. At long last it has become clear that your master’s degree in goat teasing was a total waste of time. Everyone knows sneezing into your sleeve is just good manners, you should try the same when you break wind. On the bright side, we showed a picture of you to a time-traveler who stopped by the office last week, and he said "Oh Jesus, that guy?" so apparently you’re well-known in the future. This week’s lucky gadgets: HP iPlaid (launching next week on clearance), Samsung MySlate laptop-sized smartphone, iRobot Chippy: Autonomous Quadrotor Personal Killdrone, Sonicareless dental apathy kit, Windows 7 Phone in Bluescreen Blue.Try again later. Top-Selling Halloween Masks
 The Truth About Ice Cubes I've heard ice cubes scream like unpleasant human beings when I dunk them into my drink. I'd say they're alive, don't you think? Formed in their trays like a nursery, living their lives brief and cursory, but is everything quite what it... (2/3/03) Frombnabula 7 Orange crush skies crush down upon Frombnabula 7 and the space crew thereon: Phinneas Wilbur, the captain of late, and Gumfrey McDumfrey, his faithful first mate, and Rooter, and Bramble, and John-Boy Perdue and six other guys ... (1/20/03) Tits are in the Eye of the Beholder I think that I shall never pass a poem as lovely as an ass or a verse that weighs as heavy as a buck-naked supermodel straddling a Chevy How could course words ever capture the heaven of the classic Maxim issue #7? No match has a poet's mind... (1/6/03)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.