04/28/26
Corrupt Offensive Manipulative Masturbatory Unfair Narcissistic Egos
|  The Walrus Saidby Chase Spergen   February 17, 2003 The time has come,
the walrus said, to smoke a box of crack. Fucking walrus! Stay out of my drug box, and you're standing on my sack! Don't make me cook you in hot whale oil for absconding with my stash! Your constant questions and oblique riddles are giving me a rash! The time has come, the walrus said, to eat some more grilled cheese. Fuck you walrus! You ate all my red hots! Now get out of the refrigerator please! You weren't invited! You are not wanted! Just take a hint and leave! And don't think I can't see you over there, blowing your nose on my sleeve! The time has come, the walrus said, to watch Cannonball Run 2. We just watched that! You must be joking! I cannot believe you! Get out of my apartment, you fucking moocher! I've really had enough! And don't forget your sleeping bag that smells like ocean stuff! Get the fuck out! Flop toward the door! Take your big teeth and leave! I'm serious, that fishy stench is enough to make me heave! The time has come the walrus said, to prank call Emilio Estavez. Goddamn you walrus! Didn't you hear a single word I said? I said to go! I said to split! I sai- Now hold up, son. On second thought, toss me the phone. That sounds kind of fun. Quote of the Day“It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that's completely impossible by the laws of physics and laughable to every sane person.”-Mark Twaint Fortune 500 CookieThis is the week you finally snap. All those years spent strengthening your middle finger and thumb are really going to pay off big-time, playa. Try keeping your dehydrated mashed potato flakes and your dandruff collection in different-colored boxes this week, just in case that last date ever comes back. Oh, that autobiography you wrote in l33t? Yeah dude, nobody can read that shit. This week's lucky porn cameos: Jenna Jameson in the pilot of that awesome new Hoarders spin-off, Whoreders, Big Bird in Larry Bird: Big Bird, The Ghost of John Holmes in everything else you watch because you burnt that shit into your plasma, dumbass, and …wait, Ron Jeremy in your wedding video? WTF?Try again later. Top 5 commune Features This Week
 The Truth About Ice Cubes I've heard ice cubes scream like unpleasant human beings when I dunk them into my drink. I'd say they're alive, don't you think? Formed in their trays like a nursery, living their lives brief and cursory, but is everything quite what it... (2/3/03) Frombnabula 7 Orange crush skies crush down upon Frombnabula 7 and the space crew thereon: Phinneas Wilbur, the captain of late, and Gumfrey McDumfrey, his faithful first mate, and Rooter, and Bramble, and John-Boy Perdue and six other guys ... (1/20/03) Tits are in the Eye of the Beholder I think that I shall never pass a poem as lovely as an ass or a verse that weighs as heavy as a buck-naked supermodel straddling a Chevy How could course words ever capture the heaven of the classic Maxim issue #7? No match has a poet's mind... (1/6/03)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.