02/26/26
If indifference had a website
|  The Walrus Saidby Chase Spergen   February 17, 2003 The time has come,
the walrus said, to smoke a box of crack. Fucking walrus! Stay out of my drug box, and you're standing on my sack! Don't make me cook you in hot whale oil for absconding with my stash! Your constant questions and oblique riddles are giving me a rash! The time has come, the walrus said, to eat some more grilled cheese. Fuck you walrus! You ate all my red hots! Now get out of the refrigerator please! You weren't invited! You are not wanted! Just take a hint and leave! And don't think I can't see you over there, blowing your nose on my sleeve! The time has come, the walrus said, to watch Cannonball Run 2. We just watched that! You must be joking! I cannot believe you! Get out of my apartment, you fucking moocher! I've really had enough! And don't forget your sleeping bag that smells like ocean stuff! Get the fuck out! Flop toward the door! Take your big teeth and leave! I'm serious, that fishy stench is enough to make me heave! The time has come the walrus said, to prank call Emilio Estavez. Goddamn you walrus! Didn't you hear a single word I said? I said to go! I said to split! I sai- Now hold up, son. On second thought, toss me the phone. That sounds kind of fun. Quote of the Day“Fascism is not the devices and mechanisms that force us to our knees, but those who operate in the shadows and convince us "on our knees" is the place we're born. And the first seed of fascism is rent.”-Crosby in 3F, every first of the month Fortune 500 CookieToday is not your day, buddy—by a horrible bit of luck, your day was exactly six weeks before you were conceived. The good news is you look a lot like William Daniels; the bad news is that doesn't pay much these days. Watch out Thursday, when you're nearly buried in a deluge of Fangoria magazines that have been building up in your closet. Lucky numbers? You want luck? Eat me, sadsack.Try again later. Least Heard Mobster Euphemisms for Murder
 The Truth About Ice Cubes I've heard ice cubes scream like unpleasant human beings when I dunk them into my drink. I'd say they're alive, don't you think? Formed in their trays like a nursery, living their lives brief and cursory, but is everything quite what it... (2/3/03) Frombnabula 7 Orange crush skies crush down upon Frombnabula 7 and the space crew thereon: Phinneas Wilbur, the captain of late, and Gumfrey McDumfrey, his faithful first mate, and Rooter, and Bramble, and John-Boy Perdue and six other guys ... (1/20/03) Tits are in the Eye of the Beholder I think that I shall never pass a poem as lovely as an ass or a verse that weighs as heavy as a buck-naked supermodel straddling a Chevy How could course words ever capture the heaven of the classic Maxim issue #7? No match has a poet's mind... (1/6/03)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.