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02/14/26   
Cat-proof since 2004


Rusty Klein

In an outrageous effort to quell worries about drug involvement in the recent accidental bombing of a Canadian infantry unit by two American fighter pilots on amphetamines, the U.S. military has presented experts claiming the intake of amphetamines actually aids the performance of soldiers under stress. Is this the ultimate message about drugs we're sending to our children? — Professor Jeremy Klein










Quote of the Day
“Fortune is a fickle bitch. No, wait… I'm thinking of my wife. That's right, my wife's the fickle bitch. Fortune is some transcendentalist concept.”

-Martoon Romeo
Fortune 500 Cookie
Quick, put these shoes on—walk around in them to get comfortable, if you need to. This week, fasten your seatbelt for the ride of your life. Straight over the goddamn cliff and everything. Sure, when you say a dog talks to you, everybody believes you, but make it a rhesus monkey and all of a sudden you're "crazy." Now here's Trip with the sports.


Try again later.
Top Secret Shames
1.Checked out own mom's ass
2.Own Taco Bell dog doll
3.Smarter than husband
4.Am Richard Simmons
5.Loved Battlefield Earth
Archives
The Budget Surplus
Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard... (1/6/03)

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