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04/14/26   
Frankly my dear, we don't fucking care


Rusty Klein

In an outrageous effort to quell worries about drug involvement in the recent accidental bombing of a Canadian infantry unit by two American fighter pilots on amphetamines, the U.S. military has presented experts claiming the intake of amphetamines actually aids the performance of soldiers under stress. Is this the ultimate message about drugs we're sending to our children? — Professor Jeremy Klein










Milestones
1998: Omar Bricks pees off the world's largest man-made waterfall. Not really relevant to anything else, but still pretty cool.
Now Hiring
Yes Man. Agreeable sort needed to attend staff meetings and dilute the concentration of "Huh?" Men presently attending.
Top Reasons Why You Couldn't Have Killed Your Dead Wife
1.What, and miss the prime Christmas Eve fishing season?
2.Too busy having extramarital affair to plot murder
3.Pregnant wife-killing totally against religion
4.Ha. I wish!
5.Spirit too crushed from living with soulless bitch for years
Archives
The Budget Surplus
Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard... (1/6/03)

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