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10/4/26   
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Rusty Klein

In an outrageous effort to quell worries about drug involvement in the recent accidental bombing of a Canadian infantry unit by two American fighter pilots on amphetamines, the U.S. military has presented experts claiming the intake of amphetamines actually aids the performance of soldiers under stress. Is this the ultimate message about drugs we're sending to our children? — Professor Jeremy Klein










Milestones
1921: Underground rumor begins that Lil Duncan, to be born in 50 years, will like the kinky stuff.
Now Hiring
Deaf Mute. Duties include standing around, accepting blame for assorted office mishaps, and listening to Ramrod Hurley's stories about the one time he went fishing. Antidepressant prescription a plus.
5 Worst Katrina-Related Headlines
1.Everything Possible Done by President (Fox News)
2.Tabasco Shortage Reaches Drastic Proportions
3.Cancun Prepares for Huge Rise in Mardi Gras Reservations
4.Bubba Gump Still Missing in Disaster
5.Saints Season Ticket Holders Hit Hardest by Tragedy
Archives
The Budget Surplus
Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard... (1/6/03)

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