the commune

Rusty Klein

In an outrageous effort to quell worries about drug involvement in the recent accidental bombing of a Canadian infantry unit by two American fighter pilots on amphetamines, the U.S. military has presented experts claiming the intake of amphetamines actually aids the performance of soldiers under stress. Is this the ultimate message about drugs we're sending to our children? â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Quote of the Day

“I have a dreamâ€¦ uhâ€¦ nope, drawing a blank. It was clear as a fuckin' bell this morning, I swear to God. There was something about dolphins, that's all I can remember right now.”

-"King" Luther Martens

Fortune 500 Cookie

Don't be so hard on yourself, we all know mama told you not to come, but it ain't so easy when the bitch got titties til' Tuesday. Also, don't give up your dream of eating a tree like it was an ice cream sandwich, we've been charging admission. This week's lucky cancers: fingernail cancer, breath cancer, split ends cancer, silicone implant cancer.

Try again later.

Top 5 commune Features This Week

1.	Choosing the Most Out-of-Date Pictures for Your Personal Ad
2.	Go Blind and Improve Your Piano Playing
3.	Toe Nails: America's Newest Tax Write-Off
4.	Uncle Macho's Something Dead Stew
5.	Salad Days: Three Days, 34 Trips Back to the Bar

The Budget Surplus
Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard... (1/6/03)