05/17/26
That noise inside your skull
|   Rusty Klein In an outrageous effort to quell worries about drug involvement in the recent accidental bombing of a Canadian infantry unit by two American fighter pilots on amphetamines, the U.S. military has presented experts claiming the intake of amphetamines actually aids the performance of soldiers under stress. Is this the ultimate message about drugs we're sending to our children? — Professor Jeremy KleinMilestones1492: Christopher Columbus discovered America. Actually, it was Oct. 12, and it was really the Bahamas, so he discovered the Caribbean, and there were already lots of indigenous people there. All we know is the bank is closed today, so fuck the guy.Now HiringBuffalo Bill. We don't really have a lot of buffalo roaming around that need slaughtering or anything, but the copydesk tends to order large amounts of delivery buffalo wings and somebody has got to figure out who pays what when the guy shows up. Respond promptly, we hear a car out front.Top-Grossing Documentaries
 The Budget Surplus Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard... (1/6/03)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.