Frombnabula 7by Winston C. Mars January 20, 2003 Orange crush skies crush down upon
Frombnabula 7 and the space crew thereon: Phinneas Wilbur, the captain of late, and Gumfrey McDumfrey, his faithful first mate, and Rooter, and Bramble, and John-Boy Perdue and six other guys dressed in cobalt blue. Their orders were simple: explore and report. "And don't explode," thought John-Boy Perdue with a snort (he thought himself funny, the crew though him short). As they scanned the horizon with space-dusted eyes for signs there of life and signs of surprise (perhaps a space weasel or pack of space lice), McDumfrey sneezed once, and then he sneezed twice. The crew froze a moment in the silence of space as the solar wind blew their space hair out of place. The silence was broken by the burping of space mice, and then it was quiet until McDumfrey sneezed thrice. "Shit!" cried out Rooter. "Space shit!" yelled Perdue. For McDumfrey had come down with the deadly space flu or perhaps the space measles, or space sniffles, or gout. They ran quick to the ship and told Gumfrey to stay the hell out. He banged on the steel door but no one was home as Bramble made clear when he yelled "No one's home!" And inside they debated over Gumfrey's space fate for six seconds before they decided it was late and they should really be going before it got dark so Wilbur fired the engines of their mammoth space ark. As it lifted away, McDumfrey waved good-bye and a silver space tear rolled out from his space eye as the planet grew silent and the ship faded nigh into a tiny gray speck in the giant space sky. Just then something white fluttered on down from above flipping end over end like a drunken space dove that took its time falling like the impact would hurt before it landed at his feet in the purple space dirt. Gumfrey picked it up with his manicured hands that had seen deep space duty in deep far-off lands and read it aloud to the stars and the moon: "Sorry to hear, hope you get well soon." "A card," he thought. "They didn't have to do that." He stared out at the landscape both barren and flat, except for space pollen dancing on the breeze. "Hayfever," he thought, as he sneezed a fourth sneeze. Quote of the Day“Get out of my way, you're crapping up my genius, dumbnuts.”-Ayn Randy Fortune 500 CookieAll of those great things we said were going to happen to you last week? Yeah, sorry, we had you mixed up with your brother. You're fucked. Try parking your car at the far end of the lot and walking this week: everyone finds the way you jiggle when you walk highly amusing. Your friends and the packaging aren't lying: that's not toothpaste. Did you really think you were going to get away with naming your son Pringles? This week's lucky ass creams: Vaseline Intensive Hair, Ditch the Itch Ultra, Smooth Movers Hibiscus Scent, Baby's Ass in a Bottle, Johnson & Johnson No More Flaming Mass of Ground Hamburger Hemorrhoid Salve.Try again later. Top 5 Michael Jackson Trial Revelations
Tits are in the Eye of the Beholder I think that I shall never pass a poem as lovely as an ass or a verse that weighs as heavy as a buck-naked supermodel straddling a Chevy How could course words ever capture the heaven of the classic Maxim issue #7? No match has a poet's mind... (1/6/03) Lunch Money Listen up, Billy Olson I'm a drink you up like Molson make you sing like a fat Al Jolson grab your tits and milk 'em both, son. 'Cause you messed with the best I confess it's no test I am the real thing you will know the hurt I bring ... (12/23/02) Thug Life You can take your poetry class grind it into a meatball and cram it up your ass Mr. Costenoble, you fruity pebble prick. And Health teacher, I'm warning you to mind your own girth I could out-eat you since long before birth I had a... (12/9/02) |