![]() Frombnabula 7by Winston C. Mars ![]() ![]() January 20, 2003 Orange crush skies crush down upon
Frombnabula 7 and the space crew thereon: Phinneas Wilbur, the captain of late, and Gumfrey McDumfrey, his faithful first mate, and Rooter, and Bramble, and John-Boy Perdue and six other guys dressed in cobalt blue. Their orders were simple: explore and report. "And don't explode," thought John-Boy Perdue with a snort (he thought himself funny, the crew though him short). As they scanned the horizon with space-dusted eyes for signs there of life and signs of surprise (perhaps a space weasel or pack of space lice), McDumfrey sneezed once, and then he sneezed twice. The crew froze a moment in the silence of space as the solar wind blew their space hair out of place. The silence was broken by the burping of space mice, and then it was quiet until McDumfrey sneezed thrice. "Shit!" cried out Rooter. "Space shit!" yelled Perdue. For McDumfrey had come down with the deadly space flu or perhaps the space measles, or space sniffles, or gout. They ran quick to the ship and told Gumfrey to stay the hell out. He banged on the steel door but no one was home as Bramble made clear when he yelled "No one's home!" And inside they debated over Gumfrey's space fate for six seconds before they decided it was late and they should really be going before it got dark so Wilbur fired the engines of their mammoth space ark. As it lifted away, McDumfrey waved good-bye and a silver space tear rolled out from his space eye as the planet grew silent and the ship faded nigh into a tiny gray speck in the giant space sky. Just then something white fluttered on down from above flipping end over end like a drunken space dove that took its time falling like the impact would hurt before it landed at his feet in the purple space dirt. Gumfrey picked it up with his manicured hands that had seen deep space duty in deep far-off lands and read it aloud to the stars and the moon: "Sorry to hear, hope you get well soon." "A card," he thought. "They didn't have to do that." He stared out at the landscape both barren and flat, except for space pollen dancing on the breeze. "Hayfever," he thought, as he sneezed a fourth sneeze. Quote of the Day“I can't quit you babe… you got me locked into a 24-month exclusive contraaaaact… oh yes you do oh yes you do… your early termination fees are givin' me the blues… I been on hold so long baby now so long now ba-by yeah… I know you're on the line with a-nother man and it's breakin my heeeeart in two…”-Naked Mole Rat Jefferson Fortune 500 CookieYou will find true love this week, but you'll return it because it smells funny. Try using words like "adage" and "usage" less frequently; you think it makes you sound smart, everybody else thinks you're turning into Pauly Shore. Don't hesitate to fire blindly into a crowd of strangers this week: hesitation can be deadly. This week's lucky trucks: ice cream, any variety being washed by bikini babes, Gaelic Motors' 4WD Clover, any whose manufacturers don't run commercials claiming they're "like Iraq."Try again later. Top 5 commune Features This Week
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