Milestones
1979: A young Omar Bricks writes the first incarnation of what will eventually become his "My Friend Polio" column, originally titled "Why I Peed in the Water Fountain."Now Hiring
Web Site Designer. Must have little to no professional experience, critical eye, delusions of grandeur, and think every current website sucks big ass compared to own Helmet fan page with FAQ. Starting pay of $90k to $250k, based on sheer swagger. Position will replace current asshole Neal, who should be finding out about this… just about… now. Top 5 commune Features This Week
| 1. | Test the Durability of Your Training Bra |
| 2. | Music Piracy: Are You a Fucking Thief? |
| 3. | Uncle Macho's Pure Gristle Hamburgers |
| 4. | A Preview of Elton John's Autobiography: A Dick in the Wind |
| 5. | Critics' Corner: You Suck, My Battleship, a Review of U-571 |
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