Milestones
1961: Cuban immigrant Lazlo Homales buries a small change purse in a remote section of upstate New York. Over 40 years later, commune reporter Ivan Nacutchacokov finds the purse with a metal detector, and—what the crap, two dollars?? Lousy poor immigrants!Now Hiring
Hall Monitor. Duties include asking to see hall passes, looking like an authority figure and keeping the unpopular commune staff members out of the staff lounge. Good grades a plus.Least Popular Benefit Concerts
| 1. | USA for Canada |
| 2. | MegaDeth Relief Fund |
| 3. | Concert Against Bangladesh |
| 4. | Frat Aid |
| 5. | The More Tolerance for Fags Benefit |
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