Milestones
1931: Former commune columnist Sampson L. Hartwig forfeits another "Race Around the World" when it is discovered that he merely hid in a barn for three days, then took a taxi in from the opposite side of town, claiming victory.Now Hiring
Compulsive Ass-Kisser. Shameless suck-up needed to boost general staff morale and cut down on work days lost to crippling depression. Total lack of discernment required. Insane "Never met a man I didn't like" attitude a plus.Top 5 commune Features This Week
| 1. | Me vs. the Turkey Vulture: How the Turkey Vulture Cheated |
| 2. | 101 Things You Can Sell for Crack |
| 3. | Touched by an Angel: "I Was Molested by Gabriel" |
| 4. | Uncle Macho's Pork Vegan Salad |
| 5. | The Moral Majority's Make-Up Tips for Whores |
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