Milestones
131 B.C.: Roman inventor Pontius creates love accidentally while trying to come up with a perfume that staves off homosexuality. Anyone who disagrees, we invite them to tell us who created love then.Now Hiring
Barber. Staff barber sought to keep heads neat and trim, faces clean shaven, and reduce hippieness by at least 30%. Own scissors and weird Vitalis smell a plus. Controversial "tell-it-like-it-is" barbers need not apply.5 Worst Katrina-Related Headlines
| 1. | Everything Possible Done by President (Fox News) |
| 2. | Tabasco Shortage Reaches Drastic Proportions |
| 3. | Cancun Prepares for Huge Rise in Mardi Gras Reservations |
| 4. | Bubba Gump Still Missing in Disaster |
| 5. | Saints Season Ticket Holders Hit Hardest by Tragedy |
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