Milestones
1931: Former commune columnist Sampson L. Hartwig forfeits another "Race Around the World" when it is discovered that he merely hid in a barn for three days, then took a taxi in from the opposite side of town, claiming victory.Now Hiring
Compulsive Ass-Kisser. Shameless suck-up needed to boost general staff morale and cut down on work days lost to crippling depression. Total lack of discernment required. Insane "Never met a man I didn't like" attitude a plus.Five Worst Blues Musicians Ever
| 1. | Blind, Deaf, and Handless Lemon Jefferson |
| 2. | Bi-Curious Wolf |
| 3. | Nude Québec Joe |
| 4. | Roberta "Can't Sing Worth a Shit" Jackson |
| 5. | Lightnin' Lawrence Welk |
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