Milestones
131 B.C.: Roman inventor Pontius creates love accidentally while trying to come up with a perfume that staves off homosexuality. Anyone who disagrees, we invite them to tell us who created love then.Now Hiring
Barber. Staff barber sought to keep heads neat and trim, faces clean shaven, and reduce hippieness by at least 30%. Own scissors and weird Vitalis smell a plus. Controversial "tell-it-like-it-is" barbers need not apply.Top 5 Michael Jackson Trial Revelations
| 1. | Sleeping with children in your bed only huge moral quaqmire—not illegal |
| 2. | Elephant Man bones were delicious |
| 3. | "Thriller" song autobiographical |
| 4. | Body almost 78% artificial ingredients |
| 5. | Jackson himself a delusional product of being raised in the spotlight; middle name Joseph |
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