Milestones
1969: Red Bagel finds true calling when he stumbles on to faked moon landing being filmed in his local neighborhood YMCA.Now Hiring
Ring-Bearer. Seeking meek carrier of unholy evil, pure of heart and with will to accomplish impossible deed. Three references and two years of experience necessary, start at minimum wage.Top 5 Issues for Next Supreme Court
| 1. | Official legal definition of "fucked up" |
| 2. | Arrange long-awaited challenge of man versus beast |
| 3. | Discount a minimum of ten urban legends |
| 4. | Settle this Lindsey Lohan-Hilary Duff feud once and for all |
| 5. | Reverse hundreds of years of progress |
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