
Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard times with the current recession—which is what a budget surplus should be saved for. — Professor Jeremy KleinMilestones1858: 26th president and idol of Red Bagel Teddy Roosevelt is born, only a month before Bagel's birth. We know technically this is impossible, but we didn't get cushy date-checking jobs by questioning the big man.Now HiringBounced Czech. Resume and references not necessary, any Czechoslovakian expatriate thrown out of a club will do. True, we don't really have any job for such a person to occupy, but wouldn't it be funny to say we have a bounced Czech on staff? Think about it.Top Five Worst Things to Hear in an Iraqi Prison| 1. | "Oh, wow! Hold still, let me get my camera!" | | 2. | "From now on, the conduct of corrections officers will be supervised by Private Pyle." | | 3. | "Looks like we're going to be here a while. Good thing I brought my harmonica." | | 4. | "These tattoos? Aryan Brotherhood." | | 5. | "And another thing—you jokers have cried 'Rape!' once too often. I'm not falling for it anymore." | |
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