Milestones
1812: Some kind of war of note happened, probably involving some big shot historical guys. People waved their dicks around and shouted, most likely.Now Hiring
Bitchin' Ninja. Ass-kicking ninja needed for sword-swallowing, punching through solid rock, hiding underwater for days at a time, providing tactical superiority over other online news-magazines, cosmetics consultations, brick-laying, snowboarding out of airplanes, cooking delicious soufflés, cowering foes with a steely glare, and taxidermy. Mystical world-view a plus.Top Mike Tyson Hotel Brawl Excuses
| 1. | Men insulted Tyson's little yappy dog. |
| 2. | "Dude reminded me that I raped his sister." |
| 3. | Tyson heard bell ring in lobby. |
| 4. | Victim reminded Mike of "Little Mac." |
| 5. | Men taunted Tyson with their delicious-looking ears. |
|