Milestones
1812: Some kind of war of note happened, probably involving some big shot historical guys. People waved their dicks around and shouted, most likely.Now Hiring
Bitchin' Ninja. Ass-kicking ninja needed for sword-swallowing, punching through solid rock, hiding underwater for days at a time, providing tactical superiority over other online news-magazines, cosmetics consultations, brick-laying, snowboarding out of airplanes, cooking delicious soufflés, cowering foes with a steely glare, and taxidermy. Mystical world-view a plus.Top-Selling Music Substitutes
| 1. | Bass Drone 2002 Mega-Mix DaDawg Productions |
| 2. | Voices from the Shithouse Roy D. Mercer |
| 3. | This is MeĂ– Then J-Lo |
| 4. | Faces of Prank-Call Death Mickey & Marky |
| 5. | Healing Your Inner Loser, Tape 3 Harold Bloomfield |
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