the commune

Rusty Klein

Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard times with the current recessionâ€”which is what a budget surplus should be saved for. â€” Professor Jeremy Klein

Quote of the Day

“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our capacity for customer service. Yes I'll hold.”

-Elvin Einschwartz

Fortune 500 Cookie

You will find Love in a new job this week. Unfortunately it's Courtney Love, and she's your second-shift supervisor. Cheer up, it's not that nobody cares about you; it's just that nobody's willing to admit to it. Everyone's right: Your irrational hatred of the Chinese is starting to hurt your chopstick business. This week's lucky stars: Sirius, Orion, Omega 13, Pauley Shore.

Try again later.

Top Mike Tyson Hotel Brawl Excuses

1.	Men insulted Tyson's little yappy dog.
2.	"Dude reminded me that I raped his sister."
3.	Tyson heard bell ring in lobby.
4.	Victim reminded Mike of "Little Mac."
5.	Men taunted Tyson with their delicious-looking ears.