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09/9/26   
Rotten fruit of the gods


Rusty Klein

Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard times with the current recession—which is what a budget surplus should be saved for. — Professor Jeremy Klein










Quote of the Day
“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our capacity for customer service. Yes I'll hold.”

-Elvin Einschwartz
Fortune 500 Cookie
You will find Love in a new job this week. Unfortunately it's Courtney Love, and she's your second-shift supervisor. Cheer up, it's not that nobody cares about you; it's just that nobody's willing to admit to it. Everyone's right: Your irrational hatred of the Chinese is starting to hurt your chopstick business. This week's lucky stars: Sirius, Orion, Omega 13, Pauley Shore.


Try again later.
Top Reasons for Increased U.S. Ladder-Associated Deaths
1."Up/Down" directions never specified
2.Reckless Generation Y refuses to wear protective equipment
3.Ladder-deaths portrayed so glamorously in the movies
4.Frequent union strikes by staircases leaving human helpless to descend to higher landings except by already overcrowded ladders
5.Direct correlation to 50% increase in all-blind-cast productions of Our Town
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