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08/17/26   
Cat-proof since 2004


Rusty Klein

Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard times with the current recession—which is what a budget surplus should be saved for. — Professor Jeremy Klein










Milestones
131 B.C.: Roman inventor Pontius creates love accidentally while trying to come up with a perfume that staves off homosexuality. Anyone who disagrees, we invite them to tell us who created love then.
Now Hiring
Barber. Staff barber sought to keep heads neat and trim, faces clean shaven, and reduce hippieness by at least 30%. Own scissors and weird Vitalis smell a plus. Controversial "tell-it-like-it-is" barbers need not apply.
How Did Rat Poison Get in Food for Dogs & Cats?
1.Particularly sly British mouse known only as Nigel
2.Adult illiteracy: Secret shame of the pet food industry
3.Turned back for one minute; Islamic fundamentalists cats & dogs go shithouse on production line
4.Mislabeled bags were manufactured for special Ted Nugent brand of pet food
5.One man determined to get the fucking dog to play dead already
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