Milestones
1931: Former commune columnist Sampson L. Hartwig forfeits another "Race Around the World" when it is discovered that he merely hid in a barn for three days, then took a taxi in from the opposite side of town, claiming victory.Now Hiring
Compulsive Ass-Kisser. Shameless suck-up needed to boost general staff morale and cut down on work days lost to crippling depression. Total lack of discernment required. Insane "Never met a man I didn't like" attitude a plus.Top 5 commune Features This Week
| 1. | Interview: Lindsay Lohan's Clitoris |
| 2. | Seven Bitches for Seven Pimps |
| 3. | Uncle Macho's Out-of-Season Spiced Egg-Nog |
| 4. | Fear and Loathing in Los Lobos |
| 5. | Critics' Corner: Music Reviews to Shame You |
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