Milestones
2003: The infamous "Battle of the Bulge" breaks out at when office wench Ivana Folger-Balzac mistakes Ramrod Hurley's beerbelly for a birthing alien larvae and sets into the Acting-Editor with a can opener. The skirmish and resultant standoff lasts 18 hours and claims the lives of several Crochet! magazine staffers, for whom the commune observes a moment of near-silence.Now Hiring
Sexecutioner. Why does everybody keep laughing when we say that? We need a dude who can kill some fucking people in an official capacity, okay? What's so funny about that? You guys are sick. Anyway, pay commensurate to experience. Must provide own mask, axe, electric chair, whatever floats your boat.Worst-Selling Children's Books
| 1. | Green Eggs and Bad Fish |
| 2. | The Little Engine That Could But Just Plain Wouldn't |
| 3. | Bi-Curious George and His Carribean Cruise |
| 4. | Tales of an Armed Four Grade Nothing |
| 5. | Where the Wild Things are Edited for Television |
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