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08/17/26   
Sliding down the razor blade of happiness into the alcohol of joy


Rusty Klein

Once again George Bush has proven that Democrats excel at domestic issues while the Republicans falter. Blowing the budget surplus on a minor tax break made him popular for a little while, but we've wasted our budget surplus before hitting on hard times with the current recession—which is what a budget surplus should be saved for. — Professor Jeremy Klein










Quote of the Day
“You can't tell me what to do. Unless I was already just about to do the thing you said. Then I'll do what you say, but not because you said to do it. Hold on; let me draw up a flow chart.”

-Pistain Johnson
Fortune 500 Cookie
In retrospect, it was a mistake to name your jewelry store "Who Faahted?" Try learning a new song this week: Everybody's sick of the theme from Ice Pirates. You'll get lucky in the market this week: all your stocks will plummet, but you're going to get laid by a butcher. This week's lucky terms of endearment: Ninjatits, Daddy's Little Freebaser, Grape Ape, President Precious, Monsieur Brabuster.


Try again later.
Top 5 Bush Second-Term Pledges
1.Encourage nations to work with us again, under threat of violence
2.Pay national deficit with Discover and Visa cards
3.Appeal to black constituents by finally selling off "Amos & Andy" videos
4.Build new wing of America so rich people can vacation more
5.Two, maybe even three more inaugurations
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