![]() Lunch Moneyby Cassandra Steiger ![]() ![]() December 23, 2002 Listen up, Billy Olson
I'm a drink you up like Molson make you sing like a fat Al Jolson grab your tits and milk 'em both, son. 'Cause you messed with the best I confess it's no test I am the real thing you will know the hurt I bring forget this skirt, I am the King of your pudgy white ass they'll put your cheeks in a cast for six to eight weeks and the chicks who hate geeks will know your ass reeks 'cause you can't wash it I'm a squash it and I'll pound it to dough When will I stop? I don't know and neither will you they'll have to put in a screw to keep your ass from falling out your pants when you dance and at a glance you'll look like Grimace in Dockers and subliminal shockers will spill from your sputtering lips while I beat you to fish and chips like your mom got it on with a Panda bear and your big brother blows his nose in your hair. I'm a hurt you make your parents desert you like they wish that they could do like they know that they should do like a stinky no-good shoe, shit. I'm gonna be on you like yellow on Twinkie I'll snap your neck with my pinkie I'll crap your deck while I'm drinking a Capri Sun filled with kerosene then I'll piss on you, 'cause I'm that mean and set you on fire for Halloween. You'll know it's no joke when your nose is broke and I suppose I'll choke you and take your toes to smoke too and your clothes will soak through when blood flows I'll poke you then God knows you'll croak too. 'Cause your ass is grass and I'm the ass-wiper I'm hyper I wear you like a shit-on diaper I'm crazy like the beltway sniper fucked up times three on crack croaked in a bathroom heart attack... They'll find you in a burlap sack. Bitch, I want my lunch money back. Quote of the Day“No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the people; except, of course, for those people who keep giving Tony Danza a TV series.”-H.M. Lincoln Fortune 500 CookieOur deepest condolences for your loss—but cheer up, there will be another Powerball lottery before you know it. Taco Bell wasn't fucking with you about that protection money, as you'll find out this week. You were right: you should have weighted that body down better. Lucky feathers this week: Condor, goose, anything Elton John wore in the '70s.Try again later. Top Reasons Why You Couldn't Have Killed Your Dead Wife
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