Thug Life

by Billy Olson

December 9, 2002

You can take your poetry class
grind it into a meatball
and cram it up your ass
Mr. Costenoble,
you fruity pebble prick.

And Health teacher,
I'm warning you
to mind your own girth
I could out-eat you
since long before birth
I had a twin brother
way back in the womb
"I ain't hoggin' the food tube,
get the hell out my room!"
He ain't around no longer, you want to be next?
Then use me one more time to illustrate the text.

Go on, girls, keep on giggling
about the time I got kicked out of the cafeteria
for sneaking a second helping.
That's a good way to get your tits kicked in.

Eating lunch alone is my prerogative
they give me all the pudding they by law can give
"Yoohoo, bitch, it's chocolate milk!
I didn't come here for no soyburgers and Silk."
Who said I ate all the cookies my mom made for the class?
Damn, you must be aching for a Ked up your ass.

Denny McFarlaine needed to get all up in my biz?
Saying my ass was fat and my brownie was his?
Though I wanted to snap the nuts off this fine fellow
and shout and scream and holler and bellow
I decided to just play it mellow.

And when I was done with lunch,
with a bone-shattering crunch
I kicked his ass into Jell-o,
just as a way to say hello.
So much for playing it mellow.

Or at least I will the next time he plays it like that.

Quote of the Day

“Yours is not to question why, yadda yadda yadda, just jump out of the goddamned plane already.”

-Corporal "D-Wipe" Heisenhouser

Fortune 500 Cookie

Let me be the first to say: Elastic Grandmacraps. You can run but you can't hide, and that's why you never got the Hide 'N Seek scholarship to Brown you had your hopes set on. Your character of Jasper the Friendly Goat will garner you the attention you've long desired this week, but will be much more of the legal variety than you had intended. This week's lucky animal cookies: dog, penguin, June bug, Oreo.

Try again later.

Top 5 commune Features This Week

1.	the commune's Guide to Avoiding Summer
2.	Lose the Mustacheâ€”Win the War
3.	Are Your Arms Too Long? Take Our Test
4.	Uncle Macho's Frog Poppers
5.	Leave No Man Behind: One Trolley Driver's Heroic Tale

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