![]() Conversations Vol. 2![]() ![]() November 25, 2002 I've never seen a dog smile.
Maybe dogs don't like you. What's not to like? It's not a dilemma for me; I don't like any kind of snot. I never got my dilemma. For High School. Diploma. God Bless You. You weren't able to finish High School? No, and for that I blame the Finns. At least you could have lettered on the swim team. Nope, they were papier-mâchĂ©. You tested them out? Yes, in the kiddie pool. I didn't want to drown. I think your classmates would have outvoted you on that one. Who's Juan? I think you may have the brain fever, you're obviously confused. At least you know you can't catch it from me. Good point. So what did you do after high school? I wanted to go to culinary school in Ireland, but I couldn't find one. You might as well face it, you love fuckin' potatoes. Only when there aren't any ripe pumpkins handy. Well, let's just hope Farmer Brown doesn't bring a paternity suit. No kidding. Are those the ones with the big lapels? Yuck. Anyone ever tell you you're a genius? Not since I started keeping track. Shocking, that is. Quote of the Day“My love is like a red, red wiiiine… go to my heaaaad… make me forgeeet… Wait. Sorry. My love is like a red, red rose… just like eeeeevery night has its daaaaaw- awawaaaan… Just like eeeevery cooowboy… Fuck.”-A.D.Dobbs Fortune 500 CookieClowns don't hate you, they just feel sorry for you. Your "Don't Worry, Be Slappy" series of self-help books finally broke the five-copy sales barrier this week, and just got you sued by the estate of Slappy White. This week's lucky strikes: Clover-Workers' Union, ump didn't see ball careen off batter's jock and through strike zone, killed them all while they were dreaming about killing you, threw your ex-wife's severed head down lane on accident.Try again later. Top Enduring 2004 Election Scandals
![]() Angry Like a Eunuch's Long-Gone Balls Sorry, pardon the bad attitude, but I'm fresh out of condoms. What really pisses me off is that it probably won't make a difference. Think about it for a minute, if running out of rubbers is going to change your day at all and you'll probably get... (11/11/02) The Myth of American Constipation Jesus. It's as cold as Hillary Clinton's snatch out there. I know this happens every year, but Good God. Does it really? Like this? Knock on wood and hopefully I'm not screwing myself here, but is constipation really the big national... (10/28/02) The Dating Game: Ages 10 and Up There's just no way you can help what happened with the women in the end. I mean, when you think about it, once we started demanding that everybody should look like ten year-old girls with abnormally accelerated breast development, it was only a... (10/14/02) ![]() ![]() ![]() |