02/25/26
We all scream for iced tea
|  Spastic Gastric Functionby Violet Tiara   November 25, 2002 "Spastic Gastric Function"
is the social event of the year, bathe your Clydesdales in lite beer... Homeo-apathy as a viable career? Flaccid pansies? I'd eat them gladly. Anteaters play clarinets, from the trunks of blue corvettes, the gentlemen have placed their bets. Take your chances on pairs of pantses that look lovely when they're nuzzled between the ass cheeks of male models who suck the rubber tit of baby bottles. Terrorists? Don't act so pissed, just because your country's all full of sand. Think sand castles all across the land! Everyone's a king until the crabs attack. The earth cries, the French fries have eyes and legs. Holy shit McDonalds on acid! There's a tarantula with Velcro knees, George Bush honking on the Japanese. Rubbery dumplings shit out the ass of mumbling somethings, green are their eyes but they only say one thing: "Hello can I take your order?" Ronald please, no angry cow disease for me. I'll have the salad, plain as Jane, and please hold the holes in my brain. The world's a kaleidoscope not an Al-Qaidascope and we all try to hope we'll live long enough to elope, a wedding in mauve and taupe with incontinents jumping rope. Or at least a back-seat grope with some kind of hot-ass guru or something we met at the Spastic Gastric Function. Milestones1975: Bludney Pludd is born. He didn't make a big deal about it at the time and we're certainly not going to change that tradition now.Now HiringKnife-Thrower. Should be capable of agile manipulation of melee weapons for entertaining stage spectacle, including throwing blades at volunteer Bludney Pludd. No references required, but we will insist on counting fingers.Least Popular |
| 1. | Fat kid re-enacting his favorite scenes from Citizen Kane |
| 2. | World of Warcraft online players expressing crippling loneliness they feel |
| 3. | Totally hot chick in skirt does routine car maintenance |
| 4. | Trailer for Julia Roberts' Mary Reilly 2 |
| 5. | Manson gets one side of Rubik's Cube all red |
The Spell of My Love
T is for the time we spend, each day like a minute going too fast; H is for the heart I give, for the love inside I have gladly amassed; O is for the order, my life is my own with you in it; N is for the nurturing, because you my... (11/11/02)
TV REPAIR
Fat patterns pulsing in stitches of static erratic and plastic, the spastic display. With a bang and a kick and a "cheap motherfucker!" an emergency side-slapping repair is performed. The picture then jittered and shimmied and quivered then... (10/28/02)
Claw
A quick short walk to the beach you wear your blue bikini blue like my heart blue like my teardrops and almost I can see the nipples your boobs, not my heart or teardrops We walk, hand in hand and one more hand like the hand of... (10/14/02)
T is for the time we spend, each day like a minute going too fast; H is for the heart I give, for the love inside I have gladly amassed; O is for the order, my life is my own with you in it; N is for the nurturing, because you my... (11/11/02)
TV REPAIR
Fat patterns pulsing in stitches of static erratic and plastic, the spastic display. With a bang and a kick and a "cheap motherfucker!" an emergency side-slapping repair is performed. The picture then jittered and shimmied and quivered then... (10/28/02)
Claw
A quick short walk to the beach you wear your blue bikini blue like my heart blue like my teardrops and almost I can see the nipples your boobs, not my heart or teardrops We walk, hand in hand and one more hand like the hand of... (10/14/02)
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.