The Spell of My Love

by Richard Stooter

November 11, 2002

T is for the time we spend,
each day like a minute going too fast;

H is for the heart I give,
for the love inside I have gladly amassed;

O is for the order,
my life is my own with you in it;

N is for the nurturing,
because you my growth knows no limits;

G is for the giving,
I'll give until all there is is gone;

Together it spells thong,
won't you at least try it on?

I swear I just want to see you wear it once. You put it on, you never know, you might even like it. I don't see why you won't even try it on. It doesn't mean you're a skank or nothing. Just to spice things up, come on, I'm begging you. I just want to see how it looks and maybe take a few pictures.

Quote of the Day

“What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is. Jesus, I'm wasted.”

-Dan Quayle

Fortune 500 Cookie

Don't stop thinking about tomorrowâ€”we hear if you're late to your own castration they charge double. Anyone can be a hero to a small child, just buy a monster truck and never take your sunglasses off. Try eating more greens: we find it hilarious and it pisses off those asshole golfers. This week's lucky medical procedures not covered by Medicaid: assectomy, therapeutic genital massage, gene therapy for "itchy taint," installation of a second "failsafe" spare heartâ€”baboon or otherwise, and goat removal.

Try again later.

Top Reasons for Increased U.S. Ladder-Associated Deaths

1.	"Up/Down" directions never specified
2.	Reckless Generation Y refuses to wear protective equipment
3.	Ladder-deaths portrayed so glamorously in the movies
4.	Frequent union strikes by staircases leaving human helpless to descend to higher landings except by already overcrowded ladders
5.	Direct correlation to 50% increase in all-blind-cast productions of Our Town

TV REPAIR
Fat patterns pulsing in stitches of static erratic and plastic, the spastic display. With a bang and a kick and a "cheap motherfucker!" an emergency side-slapping repair is performed. The picture then jittered and shimmied and quivered then... (10/28/02)

Claw
A quick short walk to the beach you wear your blue bikini blue like my heart blue like my teardrops and almost I can see the nipples your boobs, not my heart or teardrops We walk, hand in hand and one more hand like the hand of... (10/14/02)

Invent It!
I will invent it! A mendable, bendable tube that will heal any wound and smell like the moon for only half a dubloon! A meteor catching net that plays DVDs and warms up your knees and always asks please when you forget to because you... (9/30/02)