The Spell of My Love

by Richard Stooter

November 11, 2002

T is for the time we spend,
each day like a minute going too fast;

H is for the heart I give,
for the love inside I have gladly amassed;

O is for the order,
my life is my own with you in it;

N is for the nurturing,
because you my growth knows no limits;

G is for the giving,
I'll give until all there is is gone;

Together it spells thong,
won't you at least try it on?

I swear I just want to see you wear it once. You put it on, you never know, you might even like it. I don't see why you won't even try it on. It doesn't mean you're a skank or nothing. Just to spice things up, come on, I'm begging you. I just want to see how it looks and maybe take a few pictures.

Quote of the Day

“Love, love will tear us apart again. So quit telling those jocks we both like it in the butt.”

-Joy Divinski

Fortune 500 Cookie

You will spend so much time with your foot in your mouth this week, people will mistake it for performance art. Beat the living shit out of the first person who calls you "buddy" todayâ€”best to nip that shit in the bud. Your only remaining shot at true happiness now is joining a cult or getting hooked on heroin: your call. This week's lucky midgets: "Stretch" Svorsded, Suitcase Mike, Jimmy "Dogslapper" McVaughn, Upskirt Kilgore, Ross "The Toss" Ramstein.

Try again later.

Top Tax Filing Mistakes

1.	Classifying hooker money as charitable donations
2.	Taxes owed paid in solid gold krugerrands
3.	Claiming Willie Nelson already paid your taxes
4.	Online tax-filing with X-Box 360 Live account
5.	Attempting to personally deliver tax forms to president himself, accompanied by bonus ass-whupping

TV REPAIR
Fat patterns pulsing in stitches of static erratic and plastic, the spastic display. With a bang and a kick and a "cheap motherfucker!" an emergency side-slapping repair is performed. The picture then jittered and shimmied and quivered then... (10/28/02)

Claw
A quick short walk to the beach you wear your blue bikini blue like my heart blue like my teardrops and almost I can see the nipples your boobs, not my heart or teardrops We walk, hand in hand and one more hand like the hand of... (10/14/02)

Invent It!
I will invent it! A mendable, bendable tube that will heal any wound and smell like the moon for only half a dubloon! A meteor catching net that plays DVDs and warms up your knees and always asks please when you forget to because you... (9/30/02)