The Spell of My Love

by Richard Stooter

November 11, 2002

T is for the time we spend,
each day like a minute going too fast;

H is for the heart I give,
for the love inside I have gladly amassed;

O is for the order,
my life is my own with you in it;

N is for the nurturing,
because you my growth knows no limits;

G is for the giving,
I'll give until all there is is gone;

Together it spells thong,
won't you at least try it on?

I swear I just want to see you wear it once. You put it on, you never know, you might even like it. I don't see why you won't even try it on. It doesn't mean you're a skank or nothing. Just to spice things up, come on, I'm begging you. I just want to see how it looks and maybe take a few pictures.

Quote of the Day

“The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas! Except near Houston, Dallas or Fort Worth. Talk about your smog. Jesus, this song's gonna need another verse.”

-Clement B. Doogle

Fortune 500 Cookie

Mama said there'd be days like this, but the bitch lied. The success or failure of this coming week hinges on your proper understanding of the word "gonad," so take our advice and go buy a dictionary now, Skippy. Order lots of Chinese food this week, but don't pick it up. This week's lucky accidents: back-flip off ladder onto hardwood floor, lip caught on drain while bathtub's full, wearing flammable jumpsuit to Great White concert, 15 car pile-up.

Try again later.

Least Effective Protest Signs

1.	Stop Iraq War and Tooth Decay
2.	France is Against It!
3.	Smooth Move, Ex-Lax
4.	Prevent Tyrannical Military Action and Stop U.S. Globalizâ€” (see other side)
5.	Bush is Just Lame Nirvana Wanna-Be

TV REPAIR
Fat patterns pulsing in stitches of static erratic and plastic, the spastic display. With a bang and a kick and a "cheap motherfucker!" an emergency side-slapping repair is performed. The picture then jittered and shimmied and quivered then... (10/28/02)

Claw
A quick short walk to the beach you wear your blue bikini blue like my heart blue like my teardrops and almost I can see the nipples your boobs, not my heart or teardrops We walk, hand in hand and one more hand like the hand of... (10/14/02)

Invent It!
I will invent it! A mendable, bendable tube that will heal any wound and smell like the moon for only half a dubloon! A meteor catching net that plays DVDs and warms up your knees and always asks please when you forget to because you... (9/30/02)