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07/14/25   
Damn the whorepedoes

Claw

by Bartimere Gong
bio/email
October 14, 2002
A quick
short walk
to the beach
you wear
your blue bikini
blue like
my heart
blue like
my teardrops
and almost I
can see the nipples
your boobs, not
my heart or teardrops

We walk,
hand in hand
and one more hand
like the hand of love
a third-wheel who
won't take a hint
we sit
in sand
sand in my shorts
ass crack!
You complain
it's cold
why must you
ruin everything?

Shit! Now
a crab
in my shorts
scrotal flesh
clamped in shellfish claws
selfish claws
like something
I saw on
The Flintstones
My pain is red
red like the crab
pinching my balls
Motherfucker
Quit laughing,
Shelly, you
stupid bitch

Oh, now
You're leaving?
Fine
Go
I would rather
date your sister
anyway.

Fuck these
claws of love
hurt like a
motherfucker
and the crab
that is too real
crab bastard


Milestones
1812: Some kind of war of note happened, probably involving some big shot historical guys. People waved their dicks around and shouted, most likely.
Now Hiring
Bitchin' Ninja. Ass-kicking ninja needed for sword-swallowing, punching through solid rock, hiding underwater for days at a time, providing tactical superiority over other online news-magazines, cosmetics consultations, brick-laying, snowboarding out of airplanes, cooking delicious soufflés, cowering foes with a steely glare, and taxidermy. Mystical world-view a plus.
Top Racially Insensitive Desserts
1.Mint Jew Lips
2.Negroreos
3.Vanilla Dick
4.Mr. Li's Chocolate Chink Ice Cream
5.The Dirty Spaniard Sundae from Baskin Robbins
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