Claw

by Bartimere Gong

October 14, 2002

A quick
short walk
to the beach
you wear
your blue bikini
blue like
my heart
blue like
my teardrops
and almost I
can see the nipples
your boobs, not
my heart or teardrops

We walk,
hand in hand
and one more hand
like the hand of love
a third-wheel who
won't take a hint
we sit
in sand
sand in my shorts
ass crack!
You complain
it's cold
why must you
ruin everything?

Shit! Now
a crab
in my shorts
scrotal flesh
clamped in shellfish claws
selfish claws
like something
I saw on
The Flintstones
My pain is red
red like the crab
pinching my balls
Motherfucker
Quit laughing,
Shelly, you
stupid bitch

Oh, now
You're leaving?
Fine
Go
I would rather
date your sister
anyway.

Fuck these
claws of love
hurt like a
motherfucker
and the crab
that is too real
crab bastard

Quote of the Day

“They say you are what you eat, which is precisely why I ate fine young Bernard. Though I regret to report that I feel largely unchanged, except for the part about being in prison and having a permanent case of indigestion.”

-Percy "The Cannibal" Dandridge

Fortune 500 Cookie

Nobody knows the trouble you've seen, and you'll keep it that way if you know what's good for ya, bub. Try mixing your unique brand of illiterate rage with random fits of giggling this week. People hate it when you bring your own records to be played on the jukeboxâ€”it's just a soda joint, asshole. This week's lucky piercings: throat, spleen, tear duct, tooth.

Try again later.

What Was That Guy Screaming?

1.	Four fewer years! Four fewer years!
2.	"Don't Worry, Be Happy" Bobby McFerrin, 1988
3.	I think I'd notice if my hearing aid battery had died, you crusty old bitch!
4.	Rectum? I nearly destroyed his anus!
5.	I have difficulty modulating my voice!

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