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08/2/26   
Draw, huckleberry

Claw

by Bartimere Gong
bio/email
October 14, 2002
A quick
short walk
to the beach
you wear
your blue bikini
blue like
my heart
blue like
my teardrops
and almost I
can see the nipples
your boobs, not
my heart or teardrops

We walk,
hand in hand
and one more hand
like the hand of love
a third-wheel who
won't take a hint
we sit
in sand
sand in my shorts
ass crack!
You complain
it's cold
why must you
ruin everything?

Shit! Now
a crab
in my shorts
scrotal flesh
clamped in shellfish claws
selfish claws
like something
I saw on
The Flintstones
My pain is red
red like the crab
pinching my balls
Motherfucker
Quit laughing,
Shelly, you
stupid bitch

Oh, now
You're leaving?
Fine
Go
I would rather
date your sister
anyway.

Fuck these
claws of love
hurt like a
motherfucker
and the crab
that is too real
crab bastard


Quote of the Day
“How many roads must a man walk down before someone will give him a fucking ride? What, do I look like a serial killer or something? Blow me in the wind, buddy.”

-Zimm Bobberman
Fortune 500 Cookie
Here comes another lecture on the same old tax-and-spend bullshit, courtesy your butler. Quit picking at it and maybe it wouldn't get infected. Who beefed? Details inside. Better save that big comeback tour until after you've had at least one hit song.


Try again later.
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5.Nebraska
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