My New Lifestyleby Wes Thurmon ![]() August 5, 2002 Monday, August 5, 2002
If I could ever be as free as a tree, I'd pee only Brie. My neighbors would see the beauty of me. I'd sing like a duck and have all the good luck. I'd dance for a buck and sleep in a truck I bought for a buck and I'd laugh "Nyuk nyuk nyuk." What a beautiful day! I almost wish I was gay and I lived in L.A. What more can I say? What a wonderful life that would be… Eating green spinach pie, reading about Princess Di. Pausing briefly to sigh "These sad books make me cry!" But this dark purple tie is so stylish, I could die! But I won't 'cause it's great to be me… Yes this is the life I've waited for all my life. No more fat, naggy wife! No more mis'ry or strife! New gay lifestyle I love thee… People will talk of my beautiful cock that I keep in a sock under key under lock cause he's hard as a rock and he's covered in chalk and he can take a knock. He's a tough little chicken you see… My identity? Clarified! My new lifestyle? Verified! Wait, naked men? Terrified! Terrified! Terrified! New gay lifestyle I'll miss thee… Milestones131 B.C.: Roman inventor Pontius creates love accidentally while trying to come up with a perfume that staves off homosexuality. Anyone who disagrees, we invite them to tell us who created love then.Now HiringBarber. Staff barber sought to keep heads neat and trim, faces clean shaven, and reduce hippieness by at least 30%. Own scissors and weird Vitalis smell a plus. Controversial "tell-it-like-it-is" barbers need not apply.Most Painful Music Lawsuits
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