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05/6/26   
The story behind, under, and back and to the left of the story

My New Lifestyle

by Wes Thurmon
bio/email
August 5, 2002
Monday, August 5, 2002
If I could ever be
as free as a tree,
I'd pee only Brie.
My neighbors would see
the beauty of me.

I'd sing like a duck
and have all the good luck.
I'd dance for a buck
and sleep in a truck
I bought for a buck
and I'd laugh "Nyuk nyuk nyuk."

What a beautiful day!
I almost wish I was gay
and I lived in L.A.
What more can I say?
What a wonderful life that would be…

Eating green spinach pie,
reading about Princess Di.
Pausing briefly to sigh
"These sad books make me cry!"
But this dark purple tie
is so stylish, I could die!
But I won't 'cause it's great to be me…

Yes this is the life
I've waited for all my life.
No more fat, naggy wife!
No more mis'ry or strife!
New gay lifestyle I love thee…

People will talk
of my beautiful cock
that I keep in a sock
under key under lock
cause he's hard as a rock
and he's covered in chalk
and he can take a knock.
He's a tough little chicken you see…

My identity? Clarified!
My new lifestyle? Verified!
Wait, naked men? Terrified!

Terrified! Terrified!

New gay lifestyle I'll miss thee…


Quote of the Day
“Give me liberty or give me something better, and kick it in the ass this time, I'm late already.”

-Henry Patrick Wells
Fortune 500 Cookie
You will finally get that monkey off your back, but the tattoo removal fees will cripple your already weak home dog-waxing business. Try parting your hair on the left this week. Couldn't hurt. Look out for people dressed in blue. Nobody likes you.


Try again later.
Top-Selling Halloween Masks
1.John Kerry w/ matching beret
2.George W. Bush w/ matching quizzical look
3.Zorro's cheaper cousin Steve-o
4.Me, only better
5.Eddie Murphy circa 1986
6.Gollum/Rupert Murdoch 2-year reusable mask
7.Irresistible Sexy Man #34
8.Scary Scream guy stealing "The Scream"
9.'57 Studebaker
10.That guy over there
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A little dog choked on a draidel, a ladle, a can of beef stew and a wicker kazoo. His owner, a loner from Kalamazoo, in a wrath drew a bath that he filled up with glue. The soup of white goop he stirred with an oar and what's more he added the... (7/8/02)

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