The Land of Rotten ChildrenJune 10, 2002 In your travels, should you find
some oddball children, pay no mind. But if you do, and you have learned that they love candy recently turned, it behooves you to flee at once. And don't come back that way for months. For you have wandered to a land forgotten, where the children like their candy rotten. And this might not sound so terribly bad, perhaps only slightly, or only a tad. But I assure you, once I've filled you in, you too will avoid these rotten children! Avoid like the plague or like measles or beets. Avoid them like odd-colored stains on your sheets. Avoid them like murder and dandruff and stink. Avoid them like things moving under the sink. For this is the behavior I would strongly advise unless you'd like a sandwich of mustard and lies. You think I'm kidding? You think this is a joke? Brother, I'm as serious as a mouthful of New Coke! Their loyalty's shifty, their morals are loose. They'd eat the heart out of a chocolate moose. Their bedtime is no time their naptime is "GO!" time, And they have never once heard of "The Answer Is No!" time. They wipe their hands everywhere and belch like fat chickens and after they're done, the buffet is slim pickins. They'll throw a wild tantrum just to pass an afternoon and then hide your car keys on the back of the moon. They're nasty, dastardly, pompous and rude. Oh, did I mention they're sick of Thai food? Their rotten teeth are made to slide out moldy, curdled, rotten lies. They insist its gospel, but otherwise is seen deep within their rotten black eyes. They cheat at hopscotch, they cheat at darts, they have no love for culture or arts. They're dirty, nasty, selfish and mean. They'd sell their own mothers for a black jelly bean. They don't do lemonade stands and they don't mow lawns. They'll ransack your rec room for something to pawn. They'll name a dog kitty and they'll name a cat Rover and they'll watch Disney videos over and over until you scream "That's it! Enough! I am quitting! This is the last time I agree to babysitting!" Milestones1921: Underground rumor begins that Lil Duncan, to be born in 50 years, will like the kinky stuff.Now HiringDeaf Mute. Duties include standing around, accepting blame for assorted office mishaps, and listening to Ramrod Hurley's stories about the one time he went fishing. Antidepressant prescription a plus.Top 5 commune Features This Week
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