Dinner Dateby Violet Tiara ![]() May 27, 2002 Swizzle-stick me in a jar,
mastodons in foreign cars. Oh what lovely buggering bubbly sex shows on starships tonight! Chew up those rancid tulips like I know you want to, Stone Phillips. Belching out butterflies, watching them flutter by, gastric delights hued in blue. Don't be so dumb, dressed up and down in that bubblegum. Don't you know you're the queen? Practical jokes are so mean. My lady you drink like a whore. Rubber wigs are low-fuss. Parsley sprigs condemn us. Slap on that wig and shit out a fig, see if they won't now get us a table! Stone Phillips, the queen and me, dancing on MTV. Dining on the finest low-calorie vaginas this posh restaurant can provide us. Laughing whenever we see the bluebirds of jealousy. Asking a Yeti with a ceramic machete to kindly pass the spicy mustards. The creature, a teacher, a pig and the pope sang a song all about their plans to elope. And with a loud blast the ballroom was gassed (and though it was passed) I don't think that was spicy mustard. Milestones1982: Rok Finger's scheduled sex change operation is cancelled when he's told the technology does not yet exist to change your sex from "Bone Dry in Death Valley" to "Gettin' Some."Now HiringGoofus. Extreme cosmic fuck-up needed to offset commune staff as a whole boatload of Gallants. Pratfalls a plus. Strike that: Apparently we already filled this position with some Pludd guy months ago. Thought he was just an office in-joke, sorry.Top Rejected Muppets
Drink a Toast to the Liver Consider once The lonely liver Liver of a life deemed lower By those organs hip and trendy Who might be smaller or more bendy Consider twice The noble liver Throbbing like a might river Toiling in the depths and murky When we drink too... (5/13/02) The Rickles The Rickles like tickles and pickles and pee. The Zicklers are sticklers for conformity. The Mounces eat rayguns, the Olaffs smoke brie, Where did they all come from? Beats the crap out of me. I once wed a Shloopa 'neath the Caspian... (4/29/02) Midnight Snack All the summer dumplings want to eat me alive, I get a hostile greeting even before I arrive! Oh me oh my, I've pissed off the pie! What an unfortunate fate! Why'd I have to delve into the custard so late? Now my gentle dreamland has been... (4/15/02) |