01/16/26
A keen smile and a sharp knife
|  Dinner Dateby Violet Tiara   May 27, 2002 Swizzle-stick me in a jar,
mastodons in foreign cars. Oh what lovely buggering bubbly sex shows on starships tonight! Chew up those rancid tulips like I know you want to, Stone Phillips. Belching out butterflies, watching them flutter by, gastric delights hued in blue. Don't be so dumb, dressed up and down in that bubblegum. Don't you know you're the queen? Practical jokes are so mean. My lady you drink like a whore. Rubber wigs are low-fuss. Parsley sprigs condemn us. Slap on that wig and shit out a fig, see if they won't now get us a table! Stone Phillips, the queen and me, dancing on MTV. Dining on the finest low-calorie vaginas this posh restaurant can provide us. Laughing whenever we see the bluebirds of jealousy. Asking a Yeti with a ceramic machete to kindly pass the spicy mustards. The creature, a teacher, a pig and the pope sang a song all about their plans to elope. And with a loud blast the ballroom was gassed (and though it was passed) I don't think that was spicy mustard. Quote of the Day“How does it feel? To be on your own? With no direction home? Not even an amber alert? And nobody's bound to look in this van, so keep quiet and just try to enjoy yourself.”-Bobby Molesterman, now doing 15-25 Fortune 500 CookieNobody thought it was funny when you said you snorted your dad's ashes, so it's best not to mention going bowling with your mom's skill—your first instinct was right, nobody gets your sense of humor. Tough love is not the only kind of love, except in prison, so you'd better learn to like it. Lucky Strikes—smoke 'em if you got 'em.Try again later. Top Cruel New Rumors
 Drink a Toast to the Liver Consider once The lonely liver Liver of a life deemed lower By those organs hip and trendy Who might be smaller or more bendy Consider twice The noble liver Throbbing like a might river Toiling in the depths and murky When we drink too... (5/13/02) The Rickles The Rickles like tickles and pickles and pee. The Zicklers are sticklers for conformity. The Mounces eat rayguns, the Olaffs smoke brie, Where did they all come from? Beats the crap out of me. I once wed a Shloopa 'neath the Caspian... (4/29/02) Midnight Snack All the summer dumplings want to eat me alive, I get a hostile greeting even before I arrive! Oh me oh my, I've pissed off the pie! What an unfortunate fate! Why'd I have to delve into the custard so late? Now my gentle dreamland has been... (4/15/02)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.