06/27/26
Phoning it in since 1997
|  Drink a Toast to the Liverby Jay Salinas   May 13, 2002 Consider once
The lonely liver Liver of a life deemed lower By those organs hip and trendy Who might be smaller or more bendy Consider twice The noble liver Throbbing like a might river Toiling in the depths and murky When we drink too much Wild Turkey Consider thrice The liver proper Filtering out those vodka poppers The Benzadrine, horse tranquilizers Of all the organs, you're the Kaiser Consider thrice plus one The liver's big day in the sun Scooped up from where it's confined Carefully with my guts aligned A new liver, mine all mine! Consider five times The shitty liver Life sustaining Indian-giver Takes a lick and craps right out Candy-assed, without a doubt Consider six times, once again This over-rated cream puff organ Share with me a round or three Have a drink in memory Of the sixth new liver That pussed out on me. Quote of the Day“We didn't land on Plymouth Rock… we landed just beside it, and then the damn thing rolled onto us. Needless to say, we didn't step in bird shit either. Just standing in the wrong place at the wrong time.”-Professor Milton X Fortune 500 CookieIt's official: You've made the Ambassador's shit list. It's funny you can never find a gun when you really need one. Try thinking outside the box this week… in fact, general consensus is you shouldn't be wearing a box everywhere in the first place. Suck a lemon; make lemonade.Try again later. Top Box Office
 The Rickles The Rickles like tickles and pickles and pee. The Zicklers are sticklers for conformity. The Mounces eat rayguns, the Olaffs smoke brie, Where did they all come from? Beats the crap out of me. I once wed a Shloopa 'neath the Caspian... (4/29/02) Midnight Snack All the summer dumplings want to eat me alive, I get a hostile greeting even before I arrive! Oh me oh my, I've pissed off the pie! What an unfortunate fate! Why'd I have to delve into the custard so late? Now my gentle dreamland has been... (4/15/02) Naomi, I Moan A slut nixes sex in Tulsa -- "Sex at noon taxes." Evil I did dwell, lewd did I live, Pull up if I pull up! Dammit, I'm mad! Dennis and Edna sinned! Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era? Don't nod, Go hang a salami, I'm a... (4/1/02)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.