02/23/26
Finally! A website that treats me like an automaton!
|  Drink a Toast to the Liverby Jay Salinas   May 13, 2002 Consider once
The lonely liver Liver of a life deemed lower By those organs hip and trendy Who might be smaller or more bendy Consider twice The noble liver Throbbing like a might river Toiling in the depths and murky When we drink too much Wild Turkey Consider thrice The liver proper Filtering out those vodka poppers The Benzadrine, horse tranquilizers Of all the organs, you're the Kaiser Consider thrice plus one The liver's big day in the sun Scooped up from where it's confined Carefully with my guts aligned A new liver, mine all mine! Consider five times The shitty liver Life sustaining Indian-giver Takes a lick and craps right out Candy-assed, without a doubt Consider six times, once again This over-rated cream puff organ Share with me a round or three Have a drink in memory Of the sixth new liver That pussed out on me. Quote of the Day“Speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech you will ever regret. Speak when you are extremely angry and you'll really regret it—all stuttering and shit, like Porky Pig. And they'll just make fun of you. I know I would.”-Ambruce Fierce Fortune 500 CookieStick it where the sun don't shine—that's the only way you'll be sure it glows in the dark. Does this look like medium rare to you? Take it back or there goes your tip. If you could ask God one question, don't make it, "Who farted?" Take a self-time out this week, but don't just waste it by yourself; extract the time itself from the timeline, so you can put it back wherever you want. Lucky legends this week: Sasquatch, the Jersey Devil, Abominable Snowman, and other Bigfoot rip-offs.Try again later. Top T.V. Shows
 The Rickles The Rickles like tickles and pickles and pee. The Zicklers are sticklers for conformity. The Mounces eat rayguns, the Olaffs smoke brie, Where did they all come from? Beats the crap out of me. I once wed a Shloopa 'neath the Caspian... (4/29/02) Midnight Snack All the summer dumplings want to eat me alive, I get a hostile greeting even before I arrive! Oh me oh my, I've pissed off the pie! What an unfortunate fate! Why'd I have to delve into the custard so late? Now my gentle dreamland has been... (4/15/02) Naomi, I Moan A slut nixes sex in Tulsa -- "Sex at noon taxes." Evil I did dwell, lewd did I live, Pull up if I pull up! Dammit, I'm mad! Dennis and Edna sinned! Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era? Don't nod, Go hang a salami, I'm a... (4/1/02)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.