Drink a Toast to the Liver

by Jay Salinas

May 13, 2002

Consider once
The lonely liver
Liver of a life deemed lower
By those organs hip and trendy
Who might be smaller or more bendy

Consider twice
The noble liver
Throbbing like a might river
Toiling in the depths and murky
When we drink too much Wild Turkey

Consider thrice
The liver proper
Filtering out those vodka poppers
The Benzadrine, horse tranquilizers
Of all the organs, you're the Kaiser

Consider thrice plus one
The liver's big day in the sun
Scooped up from where it's confined
Carefully with my guts aligned
A new liver, mine all mine!

Consider five times
The shitty liver
Life sustaining Indian-giver
Takes a lick and craps right out
Candy-assed, without a doubt

Consider six times, once again
This over-rated cream puff organ
Share with me a round or three
Have a drink in memory
Of the sixth new liver
That pussed out on me.

Quote of the Day

“If you're not a liberal when you're 25, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative by the time you're 35, you have no inheritance. Die already, Uncle Francoâ€¦ justâ€¦ die.”

-Winthrop Shuriken

Fortune 500 Cookie

Who's the man? More specifically, who's the man who shattered your kneecap with a club and took you out of the competition? Now would be a good time to switch to NetFlix from your previous practice of watching the movie on the video store display TVs. Keep your eye on the sparrow. Lucky jeans: Levi, Bugle Boy, Lee, and Auel.

Try again later.

Top Signs You May Be Obese

1.	File footage of your last beach trip keeps turning up on evening news "Obesity in America" segments
2.	Telemarketers disgusted by sounds of your constant eating
3.	Farm animals instinctively panic in your presence
4.	Buffet mysteriously closed no matter when you arrive
5.	You stopped for a snack in the middle of reading this list

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