Drink a Toast to the Liverby Jay Salinas ![]() May 13, 2002 Consider once
The lonely liver Liver of a life deemed lower By those organs hip and trendy Who might be smaller or more bendy Consider twice The noble liver Throbbing like a might river Toiling in the depths and murky When we drink too much Wild Turkey Consider thrice The liver proper Filtering out those vodka poppers The Benzadrine, horse tranquilizers Of all the organs, you're the Kaiser Consider thrice plus one The liver's big day in the sun Scooped up from where it's confined Carefully with my guts aligned A new liver, mine all mine! Consider five times The shitty liver Life sustaining Indian-giver Takes a lick and craps right out Candy-assed, without a doubt Consider six times, once again This over-rated cream puff organ Share with me a round or three Have a drink in memory Of the sixth new liver That pussed out on me. Quote of the Day“Get out of my way, you're crapping up my genius, dumbnuts.”-Ayn Randy Fortune 500 CookieAll of those great things we said were going to happen to you last week? Yeah, sorry, we had you mixed up with your brother. You're fucked. Try parking your car at the far end of the lot and walking this week: everyone finds the way you jiggle when you walk highly amusing. Your friends and the packaging aren't lying: that's not toothpaste. Did you really think you were going to get away with naming your son Pringles? This week's lucky ass creams: Vaseline Intensive Hair, Ditch the Itch Ultra, Smooth Movers Hibiscus Scent, Baby's Ass in a Bottle, Johnson & Johnson No More Flaming Mass of Ground Hamburger Hemorrhoid Salve.Try again later. Bestselling Books
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