Drink a Toast to the Liver

by Jay Salinas

May 13, 2002

Consider once
The lonely liver
Liver of a life deemed lower
By those organs hip and trendy
Who might be smaller or more bendy

Consider twice
The noble liver
Throbbing like a might river
Toiling in the depths and murky
When we drink too much Wild Turkey

Consider thrice
The liver proper
Filtering out those vodka poppers
The Benzadrine, horse tranquilizers
Of all the organs, you're the Kaiser

Consider thrice plus one
The liver's big day in the sun
Scooped up from where it's confined
Carefully with my guts aligned
A new liver, mine all mine!

Consider five times
The shitty liver
Life sustaining Indian-giver
Takes a lick and craps right out
Candy-assed, without a doubt

Consider six times, once again
This over-rated cream puff organ
Share with me a round or three
Have a drink in memory
Of the sixth new liver
That pussed out on me.

Quote of the Day

“The Devil finds work for idle hands. It's all part-time clerical work, but the pay is kick-ass. The Devil is no longer hiring for assembly work.”

-Ted's Big Book of Bible

Fortune 500 Cookie

This week you'll finally get that pot to piss in, but before you start unzipping, we should warn you it's second-hand. Turn on, tune in, and drop outâ€”you've missed too many days in that computer programming class. Look for a bright-eyed Aries to take away all your troubles when she shoots you in the throat. Lucky scams this week: Pyramid, carnival ring toss, Florida voter roll purges, and it's okay, I had a vasectomy.

Try again later.

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