Naomi, I Moan

by Ray Manatino

April 1, 2002

A slut nixes sex in Tulsa --
"Sex at noon taxes."
Evil I did dwell, lewd did I live,
Pull up if I pull up!
Dammit, I'm mad!
Dennis and Edna sinned!
Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?
Don't nod,
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog.

Reviled did I live, said I, as evil I did deliver --
Lived on Decaf, faced no Devil --
Murder for a jar of red rum.
Red rum, sir, is murder!
I'm, alas, a salamiâ€¦
Drab as a fool, aloof as a bardâ€¦
Do geese see god?
We panic in a pew.

Niagara, O roar again.

Dammit, I'm mad!

"Naomi," I moan...

Quote of the Day

“Be always on the phone, so that when the devil calls, he will get your voicemail.”

-St. Jerry

Fortune 500 Cookie

Just because you don't like the message, don't waste your time killing the messenger. John of Lancaster already took care of that for you 500 years ago. New scientific breakthroughs now make it possible to wash your hair while it's still attached to your head: no more tedious cutting and re-attaching with naval knots. Try to remember: Chex are for breakfast, checks are for paying bills. You will mix those up again this week. This week's lucky dogs: Lassie's offspring still living off residuals, all Irish breeds, and the two-legged one-balled variety.

Try again later.

Top 5 commune Features This Week

1.	the commune's Guide to Avoiding Summer
2.	Lose the Mustacheâ€”Win the War
3.	Are Your Arms Too Long? Take Our Test
4.	Uncle Macho's Frog Poppers
5.	Leave No Man Behind: One Trolley Driver's Heroic Tale

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