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10/11/26   
Time flies when you're timing flies

Naomi, I Moan

by Ray Manatino
bio/email
April 1, 2002
A slut nixes sex in Tulsa --
"Sex at noon taxes."
Evil I did dwell, lewd did I live,
Pull up if I pull up!
Dammit, I'm mad!
Dennis and Edna sinned!
Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?
Don't nod,
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog.

Reviled did I live, said I, as evil I did deliver --
Lived on Decaf, faced no Devil --
Murder for a jar of red rum.
Red rum, sir, is murder!
I'm, alas, a salami…
Drab as a fool, aloof as a bard…
Do geese see god?
We panic in a pew.

Niagara, O roar again.

Dammit, I'm mad!

"Naomi," I moan...


Quote of the Day
“the commune is back? All right! Wait, what the fuck is the commune? What? Now I’m going to kick your ass for getting me excited for nothing.”

-Ron Tangley
Fortune 500 Cookie
This is the week everything changes for you. Yep, even those underwear. Go get a spatula. We all agree that your breasts are attractive, but usually a guy needs a follow-up act to really reel in the ladies. Try learning to play the lute this week, just carrying it around isn’t impressing anyone. This week’s lucky fuckers: Fucker G. Robinson (the world’s second-richest and seventh-most-unfortunately-named man), mother, Megan Fox’s boyfriend, and whoever’s sleeping with that hot girl on the Morton’s Salt container (oh get over it, she’s totally grown up by now).

Try again later.
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