Naomi, I Moan

by Ray Manatino

April 1, 2002

A slut nixes sex in Tulsa --
"Sex at noon taxes."
Evil I did dwell, lewd did I live,
Pull up if I pull up!
Dammit, I'm mad!
Dennis and Edna sinned!
Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?
Don't nod,
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog.

Reviled did I live, said I, as evil I did deliver --
Lived on Decaf, faced no Devil --
Murder for a jar of red rum.
Red rum, sir, is murder!
I'm, alas, a salamiâ€¦
Drab as a fool, aloof as a bardâ€¦
Do geese see god?
We panic in a pew.

Niagara, O roar again.

Dammit, I'm mad!

"Naomi," I moan...

Quote of the Day

“Love is blindness, deafness, muteness, retardation, spinal bifida, shingles, crotch rot, Alzheimer's, malaria, gout, rubellaâ€¦”

-Doctor Love

Fortune 500 Cookie

Don't spit, shit, or knit into the wind this week; as a matter of factâ€”stay out of the wind entirely. And those gibberish Mariachi lyrics you've been humming for the last three yearsâ€”time to give that a rest. You will be mortified this week to discover that the family camping trips you've been repressing since childhood were the inspiration for Brokeback Mountain, and that you're not actually related to your uncle Phil. This week's lucky colas: Mister Flat, Diet Riot, Vanilla RBX174, Buurp, Cherry Fairy, PreP, Pepsi-dAC.

Try again later.

Top KFC Image-Makeover Slogans

1.	Kids, Fun, and Cholesterol
2.	Karmic Food Co-op
3.	Killin' Fuckin' Chickens
4.	Koreans for Christ
5.	Kome Feed da Chiknz

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