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Bummer

by Paul Renaldo
bio/email
March 18, 2002
Silent ducks are deafening
Kansas in the crapper
Can you burn an effigy
While plugging in the clapper?

Loneliness is like a shoe
Or maybe like a beaver
Kind of wish that waitress chick
Had chose me over Stever.

People stand and look at me,
Their eye-holes full of eyes
Maybe they're the ones like beavers
Digging for a prize.

Emptiness is like a boat
Full of lots of nothing
Go ahead and check one out
If you think I'm bluffing.

Or maybe more like a parking lot
That's got no trucks or cars.
Just shoes and a couple of lonely beavers
Playing electric guitars.

Tumbleweeds are full of bees
My head is full of hair roots
My heart is like the lonely hunter
That the black bear shoots.

Listen, sometimes it's hard to tell
What exactly is like a beaver
But that waitress was hot as hell
Hey man, Fuck you Stever.


Quote of the Day
“Love is blindness, deafness, muteness, retardation, spinal bifida, shingles, crotch rot, Alzheimer's, malaria, gout, rubella…”

-Doctor Love
Fortune 500 Cookie
Don't spit, shit, or knit into the wind this week; as a matter of fact—stay out of the wind entirely. And those gibberish Mariachi lyrics you've been humming for the last three years—time to give that a rest. You will be mortified this week to discover that the family camping trips you've been repressing since childhood were the inspiration for Brokeback Mountain, and that you're not actually related to your uncle Phil. This week's lucky colas: Mister Flat, Diet Riot, Vanilla RBX174, Buurp, Cherry Fairy, PreP, Pepsi-dAC.


Try again later.
Best Shakespeare Film Adaptions
1.Romeo and Julian
2.Hamlet Strikes Back
3.A Midsummer Night's Rave
4.Tougher than Leather
5.Richard III: Richard Goes to Hell
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