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07/23/26   
Rock the bloat

Bummer

by Paul Renaldo
bio/email
March 18, 2002
Silent ducks are deafening
Kansas in the crapper
Can you burn an effigy
While plugging in the clapper?

Loneliness is like a shoe
Or maybe like a beaver
Kind of wish that waitress chick
Had chose me over Stever.

People stand and look at me,
Their eye-holes full of eyes
Maybe they're the ones like beavers
Digging for a prize.

Emptiness is like a boat
Full of lots of nothing
Go ahead and check one out
If you think I'm bluffing.

Or maybe more like a parking lot
That's got no trucks or cars.
Just shoes and a couple of lonely beavers
Playing electric guitars.

Tumbleweeds are full of bees
My head is full of hair roots
My heart is like the lonely hunter
That the black bear shoots.

Listen, sometimes it's hard to tell
What exactly is like a beaver
But that waitress was hot as hell
Hey man, Fuck you Stever.


Quote of the Day
“It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that's completely impossible by the laws of physics and laughable to every sane person.”

-Mark Twaint
Fortune 500 Cookie
This is the week you finally snap. All those years spent strengthening your middle finger and thumb are really going to pay off big-time, playa. Try keeping your dehydrated mashed potato flakes and your dandruff collection in different-colored boxes this week, just in case that last date ever comes back. Oh, that autobiography you wrote in l33t? Yeah dude, nobody can read that shit. This week's lucky porn cameos: Jenna Jameson in the pilot of that awesome new Hoarders spin-off, Whoreders, Big Bird in Larry Bird: Big Bird, The Ghost of John Holmes in everything else you watch because you burnt that shit into your plasma, dumbass, and …wait, Ron Jeremy in your wedding video? WTF?

Try again later.
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