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10/4/26   
Kids in China would be happy to eat this

Bummer

by Paul Renaldo
bio/email
March 18, 2002
Silent ducks are deafening
Kansas in the crapper
Can you burn an effigy
While plugging in the clapper?

Loneliness is like a shoe
Or maybe like a beaver
Kind of wish that waitress chick
Had chose me over Stever.

People stand and look at me,
Their eye-holes full of eyes
Maybe they're the ones like beavers
Digging for a prize.

Emptiness is like a boat
Full of lots of nothing
Go ahead and check one out
If you think I'm bluffing.

Or maybe more like a parking lot
That's got no trucks or cars.
Just shoes and a couple of lonely beavers
Playing electric guitars.

Tumbleweeds are full of bees
My head is full of hair roots
My heart is like the lonely hunter
That the black bear shoots.

Listen, sometimes it's hard to tell
What exactly is like a beaver
But that waitress was hot as hell
Hey man, Fuck you Stever.


Milestones
1982: Rok Finger's scheduled sex change operation is cancelled when he's told the technology does not yet exist to change your sex from "Bone Dry in Death Valley" to "Gettin' Some."
Now Hiring
Goofus. Extreme cosmic fuck-up needed to offset commune staff as a whole boatload of Gallants. Pratfalls a plus. Strike that: Apparently we already filled this position with some Pludd guy months ago. Thought he was just an office in-joke, sorry.
Top Raoul Dunkin Nameplate Engravings
1. Excess Scrotal Flap
2.Mr. Skids
3.Fellator of Bono
4.Living, Breathing Lung Chunk
5.Abstract Barf
6.The Dreaded Rear Admiral
7.Charles Bronson Pinchot
8.Prancing Machine
9.Chowdermouth
10.Latrine Archaeologist
Archives
Have You Ever Loved?
Have you ever loved like the whistling wind of a barn swallow's nostril-hole? Have you ever lived like a merchant prince on quiche and curry dumplings? I think not. Have you ever stared into the face of time like a fearless mutant... (3/4/02)

Elephant Wings
An elephant is a beast With tiny wings, to say the least. By tiny wings, I mean so small Some would say elephants have none at all. Nor would they claim that it's mouth hangs All menacing with silver fangs. And few would say That... (2/18/02)

The Land and the Sea
The land is in love with the sea, you see? And drinks it in nightly and day (time). When the land it breathes in, The ocean runs to him, And when he exhales The sea runs away. His doctor says "Ocean! You stop this at once! Your sodium... (2/4/02)

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