Have You Ever Loved?

by Violet Tiara

March 4, 2002

Have you ever loved
like the whistling wind
of a barn swallow's nostril-hole?
Have you ever lived
like a merchant prince
on quiche and curry dumplings?
I think not.

Have you ever stared
into the face of time
like a fearless mutant hunchback
with a huge sword and a locket around his
neck that contains a picture of a tulip?
Ha, I find it truly unlikely.

Have you ever sung
the song that meal-mice sing
when the stars line up
and form a picture of
deposed Chinese dictator Quang-Sin-Joon?
I don't believe you.

Have you ever dreamed
the way that oceans dream
of ice ages and black holes?
Have you ever smelled
an odor so complex
it carried the secrets of the universe?
Not as long as I've known you.

Have you ever danced
on an enchanted morn
with Irish water spirits
and some kind of bizarre
half dog-man who's always
carrying a freshly cooked pizza?
I'd like to see you prove it.

Have you ever pulled
your own throat out
through your mouth and
then played your intestines
like a bagpipe?

Really? I could barf!

Quote of the Day

“Yawn and the world yawns with you. Fart and you fart alone.”

-Dr. Filbert

Fortune 500 Cookie

Stop taking it so personally when everyone tells you how ugly you are. At least you're getting noticed. That breakfast cereal you made out of Tic Tacs sure has helped your breath, but next week our crystal ball shows a diagnosis for cancer of the everything. They say dogs are a good judge of character, and even dogs don't like your screenplay. This week's lucky Tims: Tiny Tim, Spazzy Tim, Him Tim, Tim and Tim Again, Phantom Tim, Tim Saved in a Bottle.

Try again later.

Top 5 commune Features This Week

1.	Bob Denver: The Most Unlikely Scientologist of Them All
2.	Gut-Wrenching and Other Techniques They Don't Teach in Med School
3.	Uncle Macho's War-Wound PÃ¢tÃ©
4.	To Have Your Cake and Eat it Too: A Bulimic's Tale
5.	Splamb: Enjoy the Authentic Flavor of Spiced Lamb

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