Elephant Wings

by Dr. Malcolm Zooter

February 18, 2002

An elephant is a beast
With tiny wings, to say the least.
By tiny wings, I mean so small
Some would say
elephants have none at all.
Nor would they claim
that it's mouth hangs
All menacing with silver fangs.
And few would say
That elephants float.
And some would claim
It's 'cause they don't.

But who can know an elephant,
All mysterious and stealthy?
And who's to say they don't have thumbs,
Were you to find one healthy?

I've heard it said
In whispered tones
That elephants don't have hollow bones.
What arrogance! What if we found
The hollow ones live underground?
Or that their bones are filled with mice
That when they die turn white and nice?

Wouldn't you feel like an ass
If we found elephants were made of glass?
Or that they sound like whales
When given to sing?
Still think you know everything?

What if their trunk, thought just a tooter,
Was found to be a supercomputer?
Or that they live in cities and drive big cars,
And the elephants have been to Mars,
When they colonized all of deep space.
How do you like the egg on your face?

Sunny side-up or over easy?

Quote of the Day

“Be always on the phone, so that when the devil calls, he will get your voicemail.”

-St. Jerry

Fortune 500 Cookie

Just because you don't like the message, don't waste your time killing the messenger. John of Lancaster already took care of that for you 500 years ago. New scientific breakthroughs now make it possible to wash your hair while it's still attached to your head: no more tedious cutting and re-attaching with naval knots. Try to remember: Chex are for breakfast, checks are for paying bills. You will mix those up again this week. This week's lucky dogs: Lassie's offspring still living off residuals, all Irish breeds, and the two-legged one-balled variety.

Try again later.

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4.	Hides Goiter
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