![]() Elephant Wingsby Dr. Malcolm Zooter ![]() ![]() February 18, 2002 An elephant is a beast
With tiny wings, to say the least. By tiny wings, I mean so small Some would say elephants have none at all. Nor would they claim that it's mouth hangs All menacing with silver fangs. And few would say That elephants float. And some would claim It's 'cause they don't. But who can know an elephant, All mysterious and stealthy? And who's to say they don't have thumbs, Were you to find one healthy? I've heard it said In whispered tones That elephants don't have hollow bones. What arrogance! What if we found The hollow ones live underground? Or that their bones are filled with mice That when they die turn white and nice? Wouldn't you feel like an ass If we found elephants were made of glass? Or that they sound like whales When given to sing? Still think you know everything? What if their trunk, thought just a tooter, Was found to be a supercomputer? Or that they live in cities and drive big cars, And the elephants have been to Mars, When they colonized all of deep space. How do you like the egg on your face? Sunny side-up or over easy? Quote of the Day“Impartiality is a pompous name for indifference, which is an elegant name for Cletus, my inbred asscrack of a neighbor about whom I am far from indifferent.”-CK Festerchild Fortune 500 CookieYou wir find gleat rove in an ord flend. That's not an accented translation; you just have a really weird fortune this week. It's time to face the facts, or at least the facts of life: even if you manage to get that face you drew on your hand pregnant, it's just going to be one more mouth to feed. This week's lucky ringtones: Hangin' Tough, Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm, Two Princes, Kokomo.Try again later. Top Oprah Book Club Rejections
![]() The Land and the Sea The land is in love with the sea, you see? And drinks it in nightly and day (time). When the land it breathes in, The ocean runs to him, And when he exhales The sea runs away. His doctor says "Ocean! You stop this at once! Your sodium... (2/4/02) When I Was Nine When I was nine I had a very fine time and a very fine time had me. I bothered no one as I high-fived the sun and I slept in a mulberry tree. When I was eight I went on a date with the moon and the stars and the Venus. We went out... (1/21/02) Dreamin' in Dreamland I'm dreamin' a dream of a dream I once had about a dream that I had once before The one where the fish flip and follow each other diving deep in the dark down below The one where I'm swimming safe and secure sailing a salt-silent sea ... (1/7/02) ![]() ![]() ![]() |