12/9/25
Death never smelled so good
|  Elephant Wingsby Dr. Malcolm Zooter   February 18, 2002 An elephant is a beast
With tiny wings, to say the least. By tiny wings, I mean so small Some would say elephants have none at all. Nor would they claim that it's mouth hangs All menacing with silver fangs. And few would say That elephants float. And some would claim It's 'cause they don't. But who can know an elephant, All mysterious and stealthy? And who's to say they don't have thumbs, Were you to find one healthy? I've heard it said In whispered tones That elephants don't have hollow bones. What arrogance! What if we found The hollow ones live underground? Or that their bones are filled with mice That when they die turn white and nice? Wouldn't you feel like an ass If we found elephants were made of glass? Or that they sound like whales When given to sing? Still think you know everything? What if their trunk, thought just a tooter, Was found to be a supercomputer? Or that they live in cities and drive big cars, And the elephants have been to Mars, When they colonized all of deep space. How do you like the egg on your face? Sunny side-up or over easy? Quote of the Day“I have not yet begun to finish my senten…”-John Paul Jones Fortune 500 CookieEverything’s looking up this week, to avoid making eye contact with you. At long last it has become clear that your master’s degree in goat teasing was a total waste of time. Everyone knows sneezing into your sleeve is just good manners, you should try the same when you break wind. On the bright side, we showed a picture of you to a time-traveler who stopped by the office last week, and he said "Oh Jesus, that guy?" so apparently you’re well-known in the future. This week’s lucky gadgets: HP iPlaid (launching next week on clearance), Samsung MySlate laptop-sized smartphone, iRobot Chippy: Autonomous Quadrotor Personal Killdrone, Sonicareless dental apathy kit, Windows 7 Phone in Bluescreen Blue.Try again later. Top 5 commune Features This Week
 The Land and the Sea The land is in love with the sea, you see? And drinks it in nightly and day (time). When the land it breathes in, The ocean runs to him, And when he exhales The sea runs away. His doctor says "Ocean! You stop this at once! Your sodium... (2/4/02) When I Was Nine When I was nine I had a very fine time and a very fine time had me. I bothered no one as I high-fived the sun and I slept in a mulberry tree. When I was eight I went on a date with the moon and the stars and the Venus. We went out... (1/21/02) Dreamin' in Dreamland I'm dreamin' a dream of a dream I once had about a dream that I had once before The one where the fish flip and follow each other diving deep in the dark down below The one where I'm swimming safe and secure sailing a salt-silent sea ... (1/7/02)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.