11/10/26
Eczema in journalism
|  The Golden Potion  February 18, 2002  nce upon a time Or so goes the line I heard tell a notion Of a gold magic potion Its power mysterious, A bouquet quite delirious It filled all who drink With the charm of a king The strength of ten oxen For lifting or boxing, The smell of a flower And ten times the power, Eyes that would dazzle And a wit that would frazzle The smartest of Greeks, Send them crying for weeks. It came in a vial Gold like a sun's smile, And gave off an odor More than peculiar And all who came near Fled quickly in fear And assumed without stirring The vial contained urine One day was a man Who wandered this land With no sense of smell And then no way to tell What lurked in the beaker That lay near his sneakers Despite better judgment, He drank deeply of it, And found all the gifts From the previous list Bestowed upon him Much to his chagrin Yet no one believed And quickly took leave Despite all his pleas They said he drank pee  Quote of the Day“Speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech you will ever regret. Speak when you are extremely angry and you'll really regret it—all stuttering and shit, like Porky Pig. And they'll just make fun of you. I know I would.”-Ambruce Fierce Fortune 500 CookieStick it where the sun don't shine—that's the only way you'll be sure it glows in the dark. Does this look like medium rare to you? Take it back or there goes your tip. If you could ask God one question, don't make it, "Who farted?" Take a self-time out this week, but don't just waste it by yourself; extract the time itself from the timeline, so you can put it back wherever you want. Lucky legends this week: Sasquatch, the Jersey Devil, Abominable Snowman, and other Bigfoot rip-offs.Try again later. Least Popular Baby |
| 1. | Katrina |
| 2. | Gigli |
| 3. | Scott Peterson |
| 4. | The King of Pop |
| 5. | Skullfuck |
The Man in the Baloney Suit
There once was a man in a baloney suit, Who danced on the street corner all day. He'd dance a jig when the mood struck him And then repeat it without much delay. Oh what a sight, with all his might He'd spring and he'd spritz all... (1/21/02)
Rosey Red-Ass
Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Winter, a magical donkey got a magical splinter. A magical kangaroo rat pulled it from his magical toe, all in a magical way now, don'tcha know. The magical donkey heaved a magical sigh, until a... (1/7/02)
The Boy Who Could Not Smell
Once upon a time there was an ecstatically happy couple named Bitrate and Sorma, who lived in the town of Ringbear near Norma. The town made a sound like a hub cap going round and round a banister not far from the stairs. Everyone who lived there... (11/26/01)
There once was a man in a baloney suit, Who danced on the street corner all day. He'd dance a jig when the mood struck him And then repeat it without much delay. Oh what a sight, with all his might He'd spring and he'd spritz all... (1/21/02)
Rosey Red-Ass
Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Winter, a magical donkey got a magical splinter. A magical kangaroo rat pulled it from his magical toe, all in a magical way now, don'tcha know. The magical donkey heaved a magical sigh, until a... (1/7/02)
The Boy Who Could Not Smell
Once upon a time there was an ecstatically happy couple named Bitrate and Sorma, who lived in the town of Ringbear near Norma. The town made a sound like a hub cap going round and round a banister not far from the stairs. Everyone who lived there... (11/26/01)
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.