The Golden Potion![]() February 18, 2002 ![]() nce upon a time Or so goes the line I heard tell a notion Of a gold magic potion Its power mysterious, A bouquet quite delirious It filled all who drink With the charm of a king The strength of ten oxen For lifting or boxing, The smell of a flower And ten times the power, Eyes that would dazzle And a wit that would frazzle The smartest of Greeks, Send them crying for weeks. It came in a vial Gold like a sun's smile, And gave off an odor More than peculiar And all who came near Fled quickly in fear And assumed without stirring The vial contained urine One day was a man Who wandered this land With no sense of smell And then no way to tell What lurked in the beaker That lay near his sneakers Despite better judgment, He drank deeply of it, And found all the gifts From the previous list Bestowed upon him Much to his chagrin Yet no one believed And quickly took leave Despite all his pleas They said he drank pee ![]() Quote of the Day“A man cannot serve two masters. Unless they are both kung fu masters, in which case he'd better do his damned best. At least until they kill each other in a spectacular bloody finale.”-Rod Godd Fortune 500 CookieFine, the stars won't kill you with cancer like they previously promised… big baby. Time to face facts: Those laser discs you socked away are never going to go up in value. Sorry, girlfriend, no visit from the stork for you, but you will get a postcard from a half-crazed seagull. Lucky Sean Penn films: Hurly Burly, Dead Man Walking, I Am Sam, and Supreme Blow-Jobs XXVI.Try again later. Top Cruel New Rumors
The Man in the Baloney Suit There once was a man in a baloney suit, Who danced on the street corner all day. He'd dance a jig when the mood struck him And then repeat it without much delay. Oh what a sight, with all his might He'd spring and he'd spritz all... (1/21/02) Rosey Red-Ass Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Winter, a magical donkey got a magical splinter. A magical kangaroo rat pulled it from his magical toe, all in a magical way now, don'tcha know. The magical donkey heaved a magical sigh, until a... (1/7/02) The Boy Who Could Not Smell Once upon a time there was an ecstatically happy couple named Bitrate and Sorma, who lived in the town of Ringbear near Norma. The town made a sound like a hub cap going round and round a banister not far from the stairs. Everyone who lived there... (11/26/01) |