The Golden Potion![]() February 18, 2002 ![]() nce upon a time Or so goes the line I heard tell a notion Of a gold magic potion Its power mysterious, A bouquet quite delirious It filled all who drink With the charm of a king The strength of ten oxen For lifting or boxing, The smell of a flower And ten times the power, Eyes that would dazzle And a wit that would frazzle The smartest of Greeks, Send them crying for weeks. It came in a vial Gold like a sun's smile, And gave off an odor More than peculiar And all who came near Fled quickly in fear And assumed without stirring The vial contained urine One day was a man Who wandered this land With no sense of smell And then no way to tell What lurked in the beaker That lay near his sneakers Despite better judgment, He drank deeply of it, And found all the gifts From the previous list Bestowed upon him Much to his chagrin Yet no one believed And quickly took leave Despite all his pleas They said he drank pee ![]() Quote of the Day“The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas! Except near Houston, Dallas or Fort Worth. Talk about your smog. Jesus, this song's gonna need another verse.”-Clement B. Doogle Fortune 500 CookieMama said there'd be days like this, but the bitch lied. The success or failure of this coming week hinges on your proper understanding of the word "gonad," so take our advice and go buy a dictionary now, Skippy. Order lots of Chinese food this week, but don't pick it up. This week's lucky accidents: back-flip off ladder onto hardwood floor, lip caught on drain while bathtub's full, wearing flammable jumpsuit to Great White concert, 15 car pile-up.Try again later. Top Secret Shames
The Man in the Baloney Suit There once was a man in a baloney suit, Who danced on the street corner all day. He'd dance a jig when the mood struck him And then repeat it without much delay. Oh what a sight, with all his might He'd spring and he'd spritz all... (1/21/02) Rosey Red-Ass Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Winter, a magical donkey got a magical splinter. A magical kangaroo rat pulled it from his magical toe, all in a magical way now, don'tcha know. The magical donkey heaved a magical sigh, until a... (1/7/02) The Boy Who Could Not Smell Once upon a time there was an ecstatically happy couple named Bitrate and Sorma, who lived in the town of Ringbear near Norma. The town made a sound like a hub cap going round and round a banister not far from the stairs. Everyone who lived there... (11/26/01) |