04/15/26
Two bit, low down, rotten, dirty happiness
|  The Land and the Seaby Ulysses P. Crackbutter   February 4, 2002 The land is in love
with the sea, you see? And drinks it in nightly and day (time). When the land it breathes in, The ocean runs to him, And when he exhales The sea runs away. His doctor says "Ocean! You stop this at once! Your sodium intake is absurd! Have you tried switching to rainwater once, Mixed with the occasional bird? Be sensible man, you can't keep this up! Your blood pressure levels are frightening! If you don't quit, your lava will spurt, And your heart will be attacked by lightning!" The land, he tried to heed the advice, And all of low tide he was good. But when the tide came up later that day He drank in much more than he should. His doctor was miffed, he puffed and he whiffed, But the courtship was just meant to be. And when he went out on his yacht that same day That same doctor drown in the sea. And the land's still in love with the sea, you see? Now this story is not only mine And furthermore, I wouldn't mess with the sea... Unless you want lungs full of brine! Quote of the Day“Speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech you will ever regret. Speak when you are extremely angry and you'll really regret it—all stuttering and shit, like Porky Pig. And they'll just make fun of you. I know I would.”-Ambruce Fierce Fortune 500 CookieStick it where the sun don't shine—that's the only way you'll be sure it glows in the dark. Does this look like medium rare to you? Take it back or there goes your tip. If you could ask God one question, don't make it, "Who farted?" Take a self-time out this week, but don't just waste it by yourself; extract the time itself from the timeline, so you can put it back wherever you want. Lucky legends this week: Sasquatch, the Jersey Devil, Abominable Snowman, and other Bigfoot rip-offs.Try again later. Top Box Office
 When I Was Nine When I was nine I had a very fine time and a very fine time had me. I bothered no one as I high-fived the sun and I slept in a mulberry tree. When I was eight I went on a date with the moon and the stars and the Venus. We went out... (1/21/02) Dreamin' in Dreamland I'm dreamin' a dream of a dream I once had about a dream that I had once before The one where the fish flip and follow each other diving deep in the dark down below The one where I'm swimming safe and secure sailing a salt-silent sea ... (1/7/02) Sunflake Oh, to be a phantom sunflake resting on the bile. A single, golden, shining sunflake, gurgling in the Nile. An elf's aorta, a unicorn's anus— none could be as sweet. As to be a lonely sunflake munching on a leek. Rainbows tease me, ogres please... (12/24/01)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.