![]() When I Was Nineby Violet Tiara ![]() ![]() January 21, 2002 When I was nine
I had a very fine time and a very fine time had me. I bothered no one as I high-fived the sun and I slept in a mulberry tree. When I was eight I went on a date with the moon and the stars and the Venus. We went out to eat and the moon treated me sweet until I refused to touch his thingy. When I was seven and the night was eleven we went on a cruise to Aruba. I wanted to dance but he shucked off his pants as he nakedly played on his tuba. When I was six I picked up some tricks from hanging with Leo and Cancer. Cancer liked to gab, but Leo ate the crab. I asked why and he burped up an answer. When I was five I felt most alive and went over the falls in a barrel. It wasn't a dare that had placed me there, but I had misplaced my apparel. When I was four life was mostly a bore and I spent my time chatting with flowers. Mom thought it quaint but dad said it ain't and he made me drink four whiskey sours. When I was three I was in love with the sea and was loved by the sea and the land. But by three and a half, I had switched to decaf and dropped the ocean for a competing brand. When I was two I had nothing to do and things had nothing to do with me. But at two and a half, while seeking a laugh, the ice monkeys taught me to ski. When I was one, I got nothing done. I did not a single damned thing. I sat on my ass, chewing dirt clods and grass. What did you do when you were one? Write a goddamned book? Quote of the Day“'Tis a far, far better thing I do today than I have ever done… in fact, where I'm from, I'm kind of known as an asshole.”-Cute Little Dickens Fortune 500 CookieRemember to clean your ears—a friend of ours died from not doing that, no shit. What time is it? Half-past beer-thirty. Always never forget to quit being scared to not ask questions.Try again later. Top 5 Pre-Rapture Activities
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