Sunflake

by Violet Tiara

December 24, 2001

Oh, to be a phantom sunflake
resting on the bile.
A single, golden, shining sunflake,
gurgling in the Nile.
An elf's aorta, a unicorn's anusâ€”
none could be as sweet.
As to be a lonely sunflake
munching on a leek.

Rainbows tease me,
ogres please me,
dragons wax my car.
But to be a perfect sunflake
would take the cake by far.

When the grass is green
like acid-washed jeans
and the faeries are screwing the birds,
there shines on the lovely sunflakeâ€¦
too heavenly for words.

I once caught a sparkling sunflake
in the palm of my hand.
It burned straight through like I was butterâ€¦
And now I can't play tennis.

Quote of the Day

“Impartiality is a pompous name for indifference, which is an elegant name for Cletus, my inbred asscrack of a neighbor about whom I am far from indifferent.”

-CK Festerchild

Fortune 500 Cookie

You wir find gleat rove in an ord flend. That's not an accented translation; you just have a really weird fortune this week. It's time to face the facts, or at least the facts of life: even if you manage to get that face you drew on your hand pregnant, it's just going to be one more mouth to feed. This week's lucky ringtones: Hangin' Tough, Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm, Two Princes, Kokomo.

Try again later.

Top 5 commune Features This Week

1.	Protecting Your Children from Our Children
2.	Uncle Macho's Pure Beef 2006 Calendar
3.	The Crushing Tragedy of Cold Sores
4.	HD-DVD, Blu-Ray Discs, Digital Tape, and 10 More Reasons to Stop Buying Movies
5.	Critics' Corner: Hemorrhoids and Mariah Carey's New Album (A Comparison)

The Visitors
Snooty bugle-playing burglars Why do you bother me? Go to hell, you naked buglers Cease your melody. Who invited uncooked hamhocks All these pigs I see? Go away, freeloading pork pies Get out my Christmas tree. Get out Santa, get out Elvis Get out... (12/10/01)

Distraction
Fifteen phantom penpoints All under my control I move them deftly, swiftly smearing ink upon a single slice of paper. Sixteen sweatered titties Distracting me so simply from my fifteen phantom penpoints Nothing worthwhile written, once... (11/26/01)

Shuns
Who has been flushing your worldly possessions? Replacing your wardrobe with out-of-date fashions? Making your schnauzer do Nixon impressions? Squeezing your neighbors for seedy confessions? Coating your lips with pre-cancerious lesions? ... (11/12/01)