04/30/26
Finally! A website that treats me like an automaton!
|  The Visitorsby Eli Snaubertzen   December 10, 2001 Snooty bugle-playing burglarsWhy do you bother me? Go to hell, you naked buglers Cease your melody. Who invited uncooked hamhocks All these pigs I see? Go away, freeloading pork pies Get out my Christmas tree. Get out Santa, get out Elvis Get out Sandra Dee. I don't recall inviting anyone To share my ginger tea. Mister Walrus, Miss November Tell me did you see A sign hung from my door that said "Please come and bother me"? Were my windows not shut tightly? Did my door not lock? Was the hint too vague and subtle, When I threw that rock? Go on, get out! Every last shrew! Every last motorcycle cop! And I will surely lose my patience Unless those bongos stop! Clear out my house! Get out the door! Leave my city block! Don't come back here even if You forgot your sock! No more mastiffs, no more lawyers, No more mimes or cows No more microbes selling Amway Leave and I mean Now! What now? What's that? No, my pills ran out. Goodness, you're right, call the doctor! Thank you, Mr Trout. Quote of the Day“It is a wise man who makes a career of providing quotes, for the dollar-to-word ratio is fantastic. Eat your heart out, novelists.”-Beenjammin Lynn-Frank Fortune 500 CookieYou! In the yellow shirt! You’re going to have an awful week. Move along now. This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, but your lifetime ban from the municipal aquarium still applies. Those repressed childhood memories you’ve been having about animal abuse and a shady-looking construction site? That was Donkey Kong. Try eating something with at least 17 letters in it this week: mailboxes and Alpha-Bits don’t count. Your lucky dong accessories: ornaments, jingle bells, argyle cock sock, festive wreath, racing stripe, spare donut.Try again later. Top 5 commune Features This Week
 Distraction Fifteen phantom penpoints All under my control I move them deftly, swiftly smearing ink upon a single slice of paper. Sixteen sweatered titties Distracting me so simply from my fifteen phantom penpoints Nothing worthwhile written, once... (11/26/01) Shuns Who has been flushing your worldly possessions? Replacing your wardrobe with out-of-date fashions? Making your schnauzer do Nixon impressions? Squeezing your neighbors for seedy confessions? Coating your lips with pre-cancerious lesions? ... (11/12/01) The Waistland April be the month that's meaner Than a shot of carburetor cleaner Or an icy, uncooked wiener Said the raven: "Ned's a Whore". "Ain't my lookout," said the genie, in a voice so tiny, teeny Ned thought it a baby, beanie And burned down the... (10/29/01)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.